All my youth

Giorgos Farmakis Athens, GR

All my youth was full of this great album music. Been a fan since then and i can recall not one memorie but many time when a song from this album was the soundtrack of my life. In sorrow or happiness, sadness or joy a song from the pumpkins was there. 

Sadness > Happiness

Joe Kreisberg Stamford, US

I grew up on Long Island and it felt like most of my high school had tickets to see Smashing Pumpkins at MSG during the MCIS tour. The album was huge in my school and we were all looking forward to the show. Unfortunately, they were cancelled last minute because a band member tragically lost his life) but once the tour came back around, it felt like a huge (if maybe a bit dark) celebration. I still remember the chaos of the LIRR on the ride out. i think my whole class was packed in one car waiting to pull into Penn for the show! 

The World Is A Vampire

Kate Sydney, AU

I have the fondest memories discovering this album and MCIS was something i discovered on my own. I still connect with the all the songs and as i am older i can understand the words even more now. I walked down the aisle to Starla – it’s not a MCIS but still just as important to me. Thank you SP! 

1979 single and b side


I’ll never forget the moment I bought this album and heard Cupid De Locke. I was 16 years old and was immediately transported to another realm. MCIS is the album that gave any teenage musician/music lover the dream and hope to create their own escape or simply fall into whenever this album played. This will truly hold a place in my heart in time and space for eternity. ….and Let’s not forget the cassette B-side to 1979 “Believe” 

Tulsa Cains show 2010

Joseph US

This is a memory from the show I saw in 2010, the second time I saw them in concert. I had brought a sign that asked “What is mayonaise about?” It has always been a treasured song. Billy responded with a short answer and it was so cool to say that I’ve actually communicated with him. However, I just came across a YouTube clip of a show from two years later at the cains, same month only the show was on the 28th instead of the 24th that year. I don’t know how I figured this out but somebody else had brought a sign that show asking the same thing. After I saw the clip I knew it was a different show because of the answer billy gave that time. This was a trippy experience for me and I know it may sound like I’m lying but it’s true. So billy if you ever happen to read this, I’m sorry someone copied my question and it’s been my dream to spend a day with you to ask all the infinite questions I’ve always wanted to know. Much love from Tulsa.

A Hidden Universe Under my Bed: or, Kids these days will never understand the struggle

brandon jay Lakewood Ohio, US

13 when MC came out.I had a strict mother and had to keep my SD cassette hidden only able to listen when I would load up my walkman and ride my BMX around. My first copy of MC came to me when my 15 year old  brother and I had the genius idea to send away an order through the mail to one of those Columbia house music programs, and we were able to keep the order hidden until the bill showed up an we got into a lot of trouble. MC is a masterpiece that will always make me feel like the 13 year old riding the sunsets away till it was time to head home, stash the forbidden universe under my bed, and dream about the next session.- “This Message is for anyone who dares to hear a fool.”

A thank you from my late daughter

Wendy Tottenham, CA

This is just a thank you to Billy and the group. My daughter Jen took her life two years ago, but I remember when she was obsessed with the pumpkins, and I just needed to say Thank you for the joy you gave my daughter with your music,  she had years of depression and mental health issues but your music brought her happiness so thank you. 


A. Manhattan KS, US

Tried to pre-order
the vinyl, but it never arrived. That, or someone at the record store
kept it for themselves, which, I forgive them. My friends and I still listened to
that album all the way through as soon as we had it out of the clumsy
double CD case.

What a time in life. Fond memories. A time of great change for everyone.

Even back then, we knew this was
something truly special. Some of the most genuine music. It is appreciated.

25 Years; So Long Ago Yet Seems Like Yesterday

Dragan Canton, MI, US

October 1995. After being introduced to SP through “Drown” on the Singles soundtrack, and subsequently devouring Gish/SD/PI on near-constant rotation, I waited with baited breath for the stroke of midnight when the hundreds of lined-up kids would be let into the record store to buy this (sure) masterpiece. Cold outside but adrenaline kept us all warm. It sounds cliche, but the air actually felt thick with electricity.  One by one I could see people running…RUNNING…out of the Ann Arbor Tower Records back to their dorms and apartments.  Around 12:15 I got my copy, and like the others, *sprinted* a half mile back to my West Quad dorm and threw the discs into my 5-CD carousel (I don’t mean to brag…). What unfolded next was amazing.  As my roommate (a casual fan at the time) and I listened to track after track, we couldn’t believe our ears. What was this wizardry?? How could this be the same band, playing both “An Ode to No One” and “Thirty Three”???? How in the $#% can this “Ruby” song be real?? WTF XYU???  “Beautiful”…has another sing been more aptly named? We were blown away.  This album created a lifelong SP fan in my roommate and he and I both continue to be obsessed with every SP/WPC release to this day.   So grateful for this album, I still listen at least once per week. 

Farewell and goodnight. 

So many words…

Karen Reading, PA, US

I was in high school and “trying to find myself”. I was born in 1979 and hoped the song would tell me something about my existence. I immediately connected with its crescendos and mellowness, and I followed it to the album. It was so inspiring as a creative writer, to explore and try to capture this art in my own words. I wrote so much, spent so many hours deeply listening. I was in love. I can’t begin to thank The Smashing Pumpkins enough for making this masterpiece. On the dichotomy of the record, the Pumpkins, and my personality – here’s the other half – Funny story: My dad liked “Bullet”, and I didn’t at the time. He said it was the Smashing Pumpkins, and I said “No Way, they do “1979””. Boy, was I wrong. Kids…

Indescribable Moments

Greg Rochester, NY, US

Hard to put into words how much MCIS has meant to me. The first time I heard the album I was awestruck. How could one band be so versatile? The more I dug into the album the more it left a mark on me. It was the soundtrack to my coming of age. It gave me a place to go with my pain and sadness when I had no where else to go. It saved my life. I now have a 1 year old daughter, Lily, who’s first smile came  while listening to “Tonight, Tonight”. I sing “Farewell and Goodnight” to soothe her before bed. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. 

Seeing Smashing Pumpkins Open The New 930 Club in Washington, DC

Bob Fine Washington, DC, US

I can remember in late 1995 when WHFS announced on the radio that tickets were going on sale in a hour for Smashing Pumpkins opening the new 930 club. I was in my car half-way between Baltimore and DC on I-95. I don’t know how I made it in time to get tickets at the box office. Seeing that show with my then future wife from the 2nd floor balcony, and you all came out in pajamas. Something I have never and will never forget. 

Love Always.

Laura Mendes Indaiatuba- São Paulo, BR

I’m already 19 years old, I wasn’t born in the Mellon Colie phase, at the time it happened, of course!

I went to listen to SP at the age of 14 and it was love at first sight.

This shows how much the band and the album have gone through generations and generations and still manage to attract millions of people of all ages.

thanks for everything. 💛

Rocking My Way Through School and Life

Bradley Campbell Georgetown, IN, US

I remember being in college trying to get to pharmacy school and having many challenges with going through a very bad breakup and also helping to take care of my brother who is 16 years younger than me. The Smashing Pumpkins music kept me going, and inspired me to keep working hard and helped me to endure the mental and emotional challenges I faced. I know the band worked tirelessly in the Mellon Collie album, and hearing that in those songs was inspiring

My son was stillborn, but he was still born. 05-26-1996


Right around the time MCIS came out, I found out I was pregnant. I was 17, a senior in high school, alone, afraid, and in tremendous pain. Seven months later, my son was born, but he was not alive. I listened to MCIS incessantly at this time. In Porcelina, Billy sings, “It’s all alright.” I named my son Nigel Corgan Shaw. Thank you, Smashing Pumpkins, for being there for me.  

Tonight, tonight

Glenn Luzern, CH

Hi, I am Glenn.

I can’t believe this Album is 25 Years old. I guess I picked it up around 2002 when I was 18. I love the Album Artwork and Tonight, tonight was the first song I heard from Smashing Pumpkins on German MTV. Years later a film came out called Hugo Cabret from Martin Scorcese. That’s when I noticed that Tonight, Tonight is all based on Georges Mélies film “a journey to the moon”. I appreciate the song much more now. 

So that is my experience. 

A very special era of a very special band.

Matthew Palmer Christchurch, NZ

I first heard SP at my friends birthday party in Dec 1995 when my other friend showed us the Bullet With Butterfly Wings video. Then for my eleventh birthday in May 1996 my parents bought me Mellon Collie on tape as well as a stereo. This was the first music I ever owned & remains my favourite album of all time. This album perfectly encapturlates the spirit of youth & for me it is very special because it is the only time in my life when something I was passionate about was extemely popular and considered cool. Very rarely does something truely alternative become that successful and mainstream like MCIS and the Pumpkins became for a  short while. It also remains in my view the greatest contemporary body of work from any rock band that I have come across from a songwriting stand point I have not known of 50+ songs that were written & recorded all in the same time frame to such a high & consistant standard of excellence. Mellon Collie and the other SP albums inspired me to learn how to play the guitar and sing in order to write & record my own songs which has become a lifelong passion .

I want to thank Billy Corgan & the band for creating such a special album & moment in time. Like so many others I continue 25 years on to enjoy all the songs of the Smashing Pumpkins.

Tales of a scorched book

Andrew H Westminster, US

In 2005, a friend of mine moved to St. Thomas and took my MCIS guitar book with him. A couple weeks later, the house he was renting burned to the ground. One of the few items that didn’t get destroyed was my MCIS guitar book. It was scorched around the edges, but amazingly, it survived.

Amor a primeira escutada

Moyses Barbosa São Paulo, SP , BR

Me lembro como se fosse hj quando ouvi a música Tonight Tonight em uma rádio rock de minha cidade… Foi em meados de 1996… Fiquei fascinado pela sonoridade… Estava na 7 série… Entusiasmado comentei com um colega de classe sobre a descoberta que havia feito e ele comentou q seu irmão tinha acabado de ganhar o Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness… Pedi para que ele me apresentasse seu irmão para poder pegar o cd emprestado kkk… Ouvi por semanas sem parar por dias o cd… Alguns anos depois montamos uma banda… E é claro que Smashing Pumpkins foi nossa maior referência… Essa banda mudou minha vida


Tania Birmingham, GB

I have two CD’s of Melancholy permanently to hand.  This album has everything.  I never tire of listening to it’s contrasting layers of sound, changing moods and emotive lyrics.  The art work is beautiful – it is a work of art.  I will crank up the volume, especially XYU, Jellybelly and Where Boys Fear to Tread and blast myself with it – literally bathe in the experience, it’s the best therapy!  1979 echoes the idyllic parts of my childhood.  It is indelibly marked in my life and in my mind.  In you I’m understood.  In you I find a friend.  It’s so important to be able to truly identify with something, to gain strength from it and somehow Melancholy conjures this.  Billy, you’re my hero!

Living Memories

Thomas Dalton Sugar Land, TX, US

At 23, the songs were singing my heart and head. I listen now and they continue to sing my heart. Simultaneously, I remember how I felt then in different situations and relationships. Like a novel, MCIS is a collection of marvelous chapters where each is a journey through space,time and innerspace.

There is Always Hope

Chris Morris Middleton, US

When MCIS came out, my life was in shambles. In brief: I had just moved into my grandmother’s apartment after my mom’s drinking got us kicked out of my step-dad’s house (rightfully so – long story there), I lost my long-time girlfriend as she left for college along with a lot of my friends, I was working at McDonald’s and getting into all kinds of trouble…among other things.

I was depressed. Lost.

But help was around the corner. I listened to this non-stop during this time and eventually made one of those decisions that seem small at the time, but in the end, absolutely transformed my life. I decided to join the Army and start over. Completely. I listened to this album as I studied for my GED. I listened to it as I drove through Chicago and the burbs endlessly for the last time. I listened to it as I said goodbye to my old self.

I love these songs because they are great, but more so, when I hear them now, they remind me there is always hope. When life isn’t going the way you want, you can take control. You can change and evolve.

Just a 90s teenager fan

Heriberto felix castro Los mochis, Sinaloa, MX

It was mid 90s im in the high school when i heard bullet with butterfly wings and it blows my mind, this album reminds me a very close friend who passed away a few years ago.

My most highly anticipated christmas gift!

Rachel Sandy, UT, US

I was 13 when MCIS came out and begged my parents for it. I knew it would be waiting for me under the christmas tree and dug it out as soon as I could. My parents and sister got the pleasure of listening to the album all day long on our very nice sound system. It was a christmas gift for all 🙂 I still remember holding the packaging for the first time. I was so mesmerized!


Juan QC Camp, MX

Estaba En el momento adecuado,En el dia adecuado,Un album con magia y amor,recuerdos inolvidables en dias inolvidables,me hizo ser mejor persona todo el album.

Mellon Collie saved my life

Michael Baltimore, MD, US

18 and my first semester at college. An unforgiving time, separated from everyone close to me, spiraling into recurring suicidal ideation. I got help. Whatever feelings emerged, I found reflections in these tracks, a tether to hope, and to this world more than once. Thank you just sounds so small.

Infinite Sadness on my Parents Portable Stereo

Christy Richtsmeier Boise, ID, US

I was born a little under a year after this album came out. It was my mother’s, and she loved The Smashing Pumpkins and eventually gave the CD to me when I was a child. She was a young mother and my dad was too, so they shared their music with me all the time but Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness stands out from the rest in my childhood.

I remember being around 7 years old — a little after coming to the US from living in El Salvador and taking my parents portable stereo in my room. I played Lily (My One and Only) over and over. It made me feel EVERYTHING, and of course I didn’t understand what the song fully was about except someone that longed for a lover. I swear this album made me like this kid that was a complete dreamer when listening to this album. I also remember laying on my bedroom floor closing my eyes and then switching CDs from blue to the pink one when the blue CD was over. 

I distinctly recall singing along to Stumbleine as well around this age, just me a small girl in my own world getting lost in this music. I am tearing up as I write this because it’s been so long since I have thought of these first memories with this album. I’m an only child, so I would keep to myself in my room and not say a word for hours, I could just listen. 

I still get the same rush of feelings going through Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and the depths I understand as an adult now makes it all the better. I will never forget how special it was and still is to me.  

A band that started a friendship.

Erik Lyday Chicago, US

I found my introduction with Smashing Pumpkins through their first release Gish. I really digged it. Then Siamese Dream came a couple years after. I absolutely love every song on that album. It helped me through a lot of difficult times. I often wondered what their next release would be like. I really was not prepared for what was going to happen. A double disc! The songwriting, the arrangements, the over all feel of this one was totally different! This album really does take you on a journey. They will forever be my favorite band. Quick side note. I remember getting ready to play a show at a local coffee shop when I was like a sophomore in high school. This guy my age came up to me and was like “nice shirt.” I was wearing the “just say maybe” shirt. We got to talking about The Pumpkins and ended up becoming very good friends. Even as an adult in my early 40’s, I still get excited when I hear their music. 

Sympathies Ready to Return

Caleb partida mercedes tx, US

What can I say about this album. I remember 95-96 pretty well it’s burnt in my memory waking up to go to school getting dressed and just cranking the morning MTV vids. every month was a new video from this and I loved it. It was in my birthday I bought this with a Gameboy pocket I skipped all the hit tracks and just was touched and amazed with the art and poetry, loud guitars, soft drums, and the strings! It was My Pink Floyd’s wall and I’m thankful Billy, James, jimmy and D’arcy where there when I needed them in my CD player on those lonely school nights! Thank you guys and keep moving forward I’m still jamming! 


Alex González CIUDAD DE MÉXICO 🇲🇽, MX

I married  november 2008

And we danced TONIGHT,TONIGHT 

The wedding guests holding sparklers during the song!!!

Magic moment!!!!

Memories of my teenage years

Djulzz Le muy, FR

I was searching in all disc sellers the bootlegs. In the mid 90’s…echo of my scratched heart …burn life

Here is my collection.

I saw them in lyon at the halle t’ont Garnier in 2000. Hudge gig

My Only Friend in Rough Times

Nina Johnson Kelowna, British Columbia, CA

SP has always been my favourite band and I adored them before MCIS but this album blew my 16 yr old mind. It was power and poetry, soft piano and crunchy guitar….beautiful. I was so depressed and alone at the time and the only solace I found was in those songs; I cried to them, rocked out to them, found inspiration through them. It got me through. It even inspired me to spend the summer of ‘96 painting the album cover on my bedroom wall and I’d never painted before in my life. It awakened my creativity. My senior high school years are indelibly inked with the notes of MCIS and for that I thank you SP.

The day I became a fan

Karina Padula Parra São Paulo SP, BR

I was listening to the radio in 2001 and I thought, oh, I love this song! The radio didn’t say the name of the song, but the melody was in my mind and I knew it was the Smashing Pumpkins. A few days later I was at a store and I found one SP album  there. I read the songs titles trying to identify the song I heard, and I bought it anyway. I went home and on the bus I opened the CD and loved all the arts and drawings, I read the lyrics and fell in love with it before even listening to the album. When I got home and finally listened to the CD, I found out the song was not in it, but I fell in love with the band. The song I was looking for was Tonight Tonight, and I bought Machina 😂. Later I looked for MCIS and it was the second album I bought, and from that time my love for the band grows everyday. ❤️

25 Years Looking Back

Jon CA

Twenty-five freakin’ years? Has it really been that long?

So, its the 25th anniversary of the Smashing Pumpkins ‘Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness’, the first album I ever owned. There are many stories I have with this album, it was the album that opened my mind up to so many variety of music and art, this album will forever mean a great deal to me.

This album has stood the test of time. Throughout the years this album has been a constant in my life, a soundtrack to many highs and lows and everything in between, I have moved around a lot in my life, and have gained and lost many friends throughout the years, been through hell and back many many countless times, much like the themes of this album which are cycles of day and night, its not all bad, there have been many great memories I’ve shared with these songs too, I have made life long friendships within the SP community, and some enemies too, haha, online drama never really ends does it? Especially when you are an outsider observing the never ending war between over zealous self flagellating Sad Machines and group therapy Netphoria. Its interesting to see the vast dynamics of opinions that range in the SP community, having used to dive heavily into the online battles myself once upon a time.

Its been a few years since I’ve really partaken in any online community, but I’ve remained close to many friends who still do and its cool to see the online community still thriving even though I’ve since distanced myself, mainly just for mental health reasons, just can’t see myself getting caught up in the arguments and debates anymore, it gets exhausting (and I was once an admin on the largest Facebook group, and lemme tell you- you get caught up in a lot of needless drama between casual and over zealous fans, and it just gets in the way of the music). But in the end that’s all find and dandy I guess, the music is what I came here for. And looking back it just doesn’t feel like its been 25 years since this album was released. It was the very first album I ever owned, I got it as a belated birthday present as my 11th b-day just went by a few weeks earlier. I still remember the feeling I got when I put on this album for the first time, putting my headphones on and listening tot his album on my Walkman back in the day, I still get the same feeling now as I did when I was a kid when I listen to these songs. This album opened my mind to a lot of different things, different music genres and different styles of art in general, it was an eye opener for sure. I can go on about this album and what its meant to me throughout the years but I guess I’ll leave this at that.

I will talk about one more thing, a rather personal thing, as what I’ve said earlier about forming life long friendships, one thing this album reminds me heavily of is of my two friends Dean and Chad, both whom I met through the SP community back in 2006 & 2007, they both passed away in September & November 2018, this album reminds me so much of both them. Upon hearing it was the 25th anniversary the other day I put the album on and listened to it on repeat for awhile thinking about both of my brothers who are no longer here, Thirty-Three & 1979 are their songs. And I will always play them loud for them, for their memory. These aren’t just songs for some of us, for some of us these are beacons of light who help us out of our own personal hells, sometimes all we have is our music. And looking at the other memories that are shared on here there are many, many stories to tell, there is always a story to tell.

Thank you, WPC, James, D’arcy & Jimmy for Mellon Collie. Some of us wouldn’t be here without the music.

Thanks again.

– Dandy Jon

MCIS ‘96 Tour Memorabilia

Robert Philadelphia, PA, US

Of all the music I own, MCIS will always be the most personal to me. Spring of 1996 I was going through a rough patch. I was a sophomore in high school and experimenting with lots of substances. My girlfriend at the time introduced me to MCIS and the album became the soundtrack to our relationship. Long story short, a few weeks later my mother discovered my drug use and sent me to live in Texas with my father. I was basically uprooted and separated from my first love and my friends and family. This was very traumatic for me and I cried just about every day for the first few months. MCIS was heartbreaking to listen to at times, but it ultimately helped me get through a very rough period in my life. Not sure where I would be without the album. MCIS means so much to me still to this day. Just wanted to say thanks to William and the rest of the band for blessing us with this landmark album. I love you all SO much. 

One word memory.

Theodore Orlando, US


Zero Girl

Carly Brisbane, Queensland, AU

I was a moody teenager who wore my Zero shirt everywhere. MCIS defined my teenage years and I loved having so many songs to fall in love with. I really miss those days!


K Austin, TX, US

I am super-excited to see this tour once again! Some of the last good music produced…to see it live again will be amazing. Also, please. let us not forget my cousin Jonathan on this tour please. ♥️

Out of order Walkman

Andres ignacio Santiago , CL

I was in the school and my Walkman didint work with radio. But a didnt have cassettes and a Girl classmate Has this pirate cassette she borrow to me. No names, no band, nothing. And I usually Listens to all in my way Walking home all Days.

months before a discover the name of the band and I already know all the lyrics

❤️thank you For that Ale, cause you show me an amazing ost in my life

Mellon Collie Envy

Cristina California , US

It was 1997, and I desperately wanted the Mellon Collie album. My dad’s friend and his girlfriend had been moving into the house behind ours at the time, and had been moving all of their things. The girlfriend let me borrow Mellon Collie, and I was so excited. I couldn’t afford to buy my own. I played it over and over. When they moved out I never gave it back. No regrets.