Memories | The Smashing Pumpkins

We’re Off To See The Wizard!

Kevin Box TROY, NY, US

Keep it short? The Pumpkins were everything to me from 1993 to 2000…and then reborn in 2007. MCIS was never what SD was to me but it has stood the test of time as a cornerstone of the catalog. I remember working at Nobody Beats the Wiz and when the store closed the night before release, having my copy and blasting it on the soundsystem overhead as we counted out the drawers and closed the store. While rage has been replaced by maturity and acceptance of that which we cannot change, SP have always been the words and sounds I couldn’t emote constructively on my own.

In my life, sadness grants freedom to find the truth in me

Aaron Chicago, Il., US

On my birthday ’96 I walked away from h.s. forever to an acquaintance house who eerily looked like Billy Corgan circa ’93. With my birthday money I bought one of his guitars. The one he taught me the simplest part of “Tonight, Tonight”. The next day off to guitar center to buy the tablature book for MCIS. As I learned the songs, all the previously learned lies melted away to start to reveal who I am. Thanks WPC for your mind and words and the band for the sonic beauty.

Unexpected gifts

Lucía Milena Robles Luján Barranquilla, CO

My name is Lucía Robles and I live in Barranquilla, Colombia. In 1996, my father fell in love with the Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and on a trip to Bogotá he bought it for me, because in my small city it was not possible to find it. My father does not speak English, for him it was very difficult to explain in Bogotá what album he was referring to, but he made it! Months later he surprised me with The Aeroplane Flies High. I cried when I discovered both gifts. I will never forget them and that is why I keep them as a treasure. We still hear it at home. The music of this amazing band has had a profound impact on my life. Thank you very much! <3

Opened up a world of sound to me

Logan Houston, TX, US

MCIS came out when I was a freshman in high school. I was an avid classical musician – that’s all I ever listened to or played. The girl who sat next to me in our youth symphony came in one rehearsal and was poring over the liner notes at a break. I had a hopeless crush on this girl. I asked her what she was doing and I will never forget the look on her face as she looked up and answered “personal enrichment”. I went and bought the album the next time I had any money and it blew my mind. MCIS transports me instantly to that year – all of the thoughts, emotions, drama that suddenly engulfed my life in such an exhilarating way. So much has changed since then but I come back to it all the time.

Turning Point

Xavier Seattle, WA, US

I grew up in the Seattle Grunge scene, so I mostly listened to Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, AIC, and the like. I was heading home from a friend’s house in Portland on Christmas Eve 1995 when it began snowing. I couldn’t see anything and ended up taking the wrong exit and veering completely off course. Eventually, I got to a tiny backwater town close to the state border. After taking a few minutes to figure out where I was, I remembered that one of my friends from high school lived in this town. I asked around and eventually found his house. He was glad to see me and we began talking about life when he brought up his new favorite album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. He played the thing in its entirety and it blew my mind. At first, songs like Tales Of A Scorched Earth and Zero appealed to me, but now I feel that I prefer songs like Porcelina to those ones. I stayed the night and left for home on Christmas Morning. I remember driving home and hearing 1979 on the radio and thinking, “life is amazing!”. I bought the album as soon as I got home. Thank you for turning my life around Billy!

2nd to Last Show

Logan Asheville , US

So, I tried to see my fave band in 1994 on Lollapalooza but unfortunately…it didn’t work out. So as a record store employee…I couldn’t wait for the Mellon Collie release. I will never forget the monday night when my supervisor called me and told me that we had recieved the Mellon Collie promo CD. I jumped in the car and drove the 10 miles to the store to get it and take it home for a spin. I remember being overwhelmed from the start. I couldnt wrap my head around how amazing this was. I listened to it twice that night before going to high school the next day. I remember the Pumpkins on Rockline and breathlessly waiting to hear to tour dates. The closest to me in south Alabama was a date in Layfette Louisana. I bought tickets the minute they went on sale. I had no idea that the tour would get turned upside down before they made it out of NYC. I was so disappointed when I heard about the cancellation but stayed glued to MTV(yuck) and radio for any news of make up dates. This was before info was easy to get on the internet. I will never forget seeing them in Atlanta and Lafayette in 1996. However, my fave show was the second to last show on the MCIS tour in Pensacola Florida. They changed the setlist from the previous leg and we got to hear both Rocket and Rhinoceros. They also played the longest jam on Silverfuck ever. I almost got thrown out for recording the show on a cassette recorder. Luckily, we were able to see in my opinion that LAST great arena concert of my young adulthood. I will always remember the excitement I had that night walking into the Civic Center. And as a bonus…we got Fountains of Wayne as the opening band. Legendary. Thank u SP. I have seen you many times since in smaller clubs like the Metro and I hope to see you again soon.

Rat In a Cage

LeahFaith New Haven, CT, US

Bullet with Butterfly Wings was the song that started my obsession with SP. Soon after that song released, I had to buy the album. Each night I’d sit on my bed and listen to the album on my cd/stereo system that was in my bookcase headboard and thumb through the cd insert an be mesmerized by the lyrics and musicality. It comforted me through some tough and lonely times. Around that year, I was reacquainted with my best friend, Greg. He moved back to the apartment complex that I lived in. We were in middle school. I fondly remember us just sitting in his room just listening and singing at the top of our lungs to this album. When high school hit and I got a job, my first purchase was a Yamaha strat. My friend’s first purchase was a drum set. Our first songs we practiced together were the songs on MCIS. I remember signing onto AOL and searched the old guitar tabs to teach myself chords and riffs. Our fave songs to play were Bodies, Lily, Bullet with Butterfly Wings. Others on Siamese Dream weret Disarm and Mayonnaise. We sucked but we were rock stars!

Two Generations of Pumpkins Fans

Kennedy Chun US

In 1995, my mother bought my dad his first ever Smashing Pumpkins CD, which just so happened to be Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Cut to 23 years later, I find that very CD downstairs and was immediately hooked. Through that CD, my father and I grew closer listening to it, discussing its meaning and lyrics. We jammed out to A Bullet with Butterfly Wings and Thrity-Three like no one else could. I will never forget the car rides we took together, and how he would drive extra slow on the way home so we could listen to 1979 to completion. Music has always brought us closer together, and this album will always be a part of that.

The album of my youth

Lauren Tucker Seattle, WA, US

So many great memories of this album. It was the only thing spinning on my Discman for years. I still remember the feel of the brown paper liner notes. Always flipping back and forth as to whether Blue or Red was my favorite. I listened to the last four tracks of Blue before I went to sleep every night. I would wait in front of MTV for hours until a video came on so I could record it onto a VHS. The idea of something like YouTube at the time would have fully blown my mind. Also my first SP concert. They announced a special ticket release on the radio and I dragged mom down to Blockbuster Music (!) to score some. We rushed out to the store, but mom only had her checkbook when we got to the front of line. Random stranger behind us saw the look of devastation on my face and offered to take my mom’s check. I rewarded my mom’s efforts by taking a friend to the concert instead because I was in junior high and a total dick, so she waited for us in the parking lot, commenting on the beautiful music floating out from the arena. I got the concert tee and was so excited to wear it to school the next day that I tried to iron it (wrinkles from sleeping in it), and it still has the scars to show for it. Only concert shirt from those days I have managed to hold onto. Many conversations were had where I earnestly explained to mom, friends and whoever would listen what Billy meant with such and such lyric. 😉 At the time, my childhood bedroom was floor to ceiling Pumpkins on two walls, so I was a bit psychopathic with my devotion. And the album never ages for me. I put it on every few years and am transported back to the time while simultaneously the words take on new meaning as I “age out.” I remember listening to Thirty-Three in my early thirties and being struck at how quickly it has all passed. Thank you SP for such a tremendous gift.

My First Big Rock Show

Dean Orange County, California, US

At age 14, after going to church shows in the area for a few years, I finally experienced my first big rock show. There was rock and roll. There was sweat. There was weed. And there was the hottest little Irish chick doing aerobisize through my heart for an hour just before it all took place. What an era. Thought it would last forever.

There was no sadness for me…

Miguel Fernández Madrid, ES

Tonight tonight’s videoclip still brings tears of joy and a smile to my face nowadays. I was maybe a bit young when the album came out, but I still managed to get a copy – and boy, what a blast! It was my first CD ever and I still keep it at my mother’s home. May other 25 years pass and MCIS be still a breath of fresh air. Thanks for everything.

From fire to child

Jj crain Jonesboro Arkansas , US

Memphis show was my first. ( with garbage ). As a teenager I remember a very dark moment in my room… “ to forgive “ came on and dropped what I was sadly about to do at 15 years old… I cried hard, heavy and everything just released.. fast forward to august 18th 2017 when we gave birth to my life saver ENOX CORGAN CRAIN. Thank you. One moment saved a life and helped to create another.

freedom of new life

Scott Herndon, VA, US

Oct. 25, 1995 My senior year in high school. I gave my friend a $20 and wasn’t sure if I’d see it again in hopes he’d go to Waxie Maxies and pick up a copy. It turns out he did, it was life changing, and continued to live in my 12 disc changer forever. This record was simply life changing and continues to be a soundtrack of life. It is symbolic of many things, but to me, a new beginning to then unknown chapters of life, that continues to live on as we go on.

Méliès to Mellon Collie

Jacob Seattle, US

In ‘86, ‘87 my Dad brought home the George Méliès: Cinema Magician documentary VHS. I loved it instantly.

I didn’t grow up with rock music. My Dad mostly had film soundtracks, showtunes, classical, and singer/songwriters.

I got interested in music for myself around ‘93, ‘94 when I was in 4th grade. I bought Danny Elfman cassette soundtracks to Tim Burton films.

A grade school friend’s Dad listened to lots of loud rock like Metallica, AC/DC, and our own little hometown’s Nirvana.

As I got interested in rock I found my Dad had the 2CD The Best Of The Doors.

A friend and I had jammed a wire hanger into an antenna-less boombox to hear Seattle radio station The End come through to us in Aberdeen. Our families were both too poor for cable that included MTV so maybe I first heard the Pumpkins this way?

In 1997 my Mom was abruptly diagnosed with cancer. My Mom was on a medical bed for IV Chemo across from the TV in our living room. Our cable package just started carrying MTV. My sisters and I wanted to see MTV. The Tonight, Tonight music video came on. A Méliès homage! I loved the orchestration. It fit my love of soundtracks and interest in rock music.

Some time after my Mom died a small record store opened in town. I wanted a Pumpkins CD. There was Mellon Collie. I thought it was a “Best Of” like the 2CD Best Of The Doors. I was surprised to realize that it was a double-album. Amazing! As each track unfolded I loved them all. They were all different, it was like a soundtrack, and became my soundtrack.

I listened to the album all through high school along with the Aeroplane box, Pisces, Siamese, and the newly released Machina + Machina II.

Listening to these albums influenced and inspired the art I made in High School. These albums made me eclectic and ambitious. Mellon Collie was and still is mind expanding.

Little Rocker

Bri Ponca City, OK, US

I was around 3 years old when this album came out. My sister was in high school and any time she would watch me she would introduce me to her music. I remember head banging to “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” in the middle of the living room with all the high schoolers when my mom came in and made them shut it off. I was so mad I threw a full blown toddler tantrum. As I got older, my sister and I frequently rolled around town singing 1979 at the top of our lungs. Still one of my top albums to listen to. Definitely, brings back a lot of great memories!

Hello kitty kat

Brian Anthony Fort mill sc, US

I heard the pumpkins after the initial 90s wave. I was a child/infant during most of the pumpkins explosion. as a 13 year old in the early 2000s this music changed my life. My next door neighbor Ryan started playing guitar and would scream bullet with butterfly wings at the top of his lungs. I first heard this intensity from my friend secondhand of bullet with butterfly wings as I kicked a soccer ball in the backyard. echoing out of the upstairs nextdoor suburban boxcar window was a lifeline and would lead to an ever evolving growing respect for billy and the pumpkins body of work. Till this day each time I hear the album I can find a new layer of paint. Simple yet elegant and so full of passion. Can someone explain why if you search billy corgan on YouTube instead of the epic Ogilala or cotillions albums released in the past few years what shows up are two search lines containing the Rollercoaster meme? Its pathetic censorship. i can only pray that more true artists like billy battle the norm and remain true to themselves despite changing times, Feelings,opinions, and moods. the pumpkins have always been a mystical mysterious part of my life. I truly respect Billy’s artistry,lyric craft, and intelligence. Its shakespearan, the level of thought and awareness that is in his craft. I remember the first time I got caught drinking I was upstairs with my Mexican early 20th century gun metal blue strat playing along to Mellon collie on cd

I remember the thought regarding the Beaupre heart supposed ‘souvenir’

cj vc, US

One whose heart and therefore very henceforth motivation entails a reference to same: whether Nevermind, or inquiry asserting never needed anyone (amidst Metropolis-like warnings of what that rat in a cage sees when grabbed up, yet ring unsure of Anno Satana), “why an arty track to set up a single”, and so questioning the Siamese to the Gish. Oceania’s Utopia, elegies and plainsong reaches out to Life who’s colors are difficult to take.

The ascension of the ashes are more of take of needing any ONE. And your beginning before the Heart (regardless of countless business arrangements, even Constantinople, and happily the loyalty of Sky/Saxon), repeat at end its merciful invitation.

My own Infinite Sadness

Bernard Bardstown, ky, US

I first started looking into the album in late 2015 or early 2016. I bought the album on iTunes, and it has become my favorite Smashing Pumpkins album. Before this point, the only song from it i really knew was “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” as the radio played it constantly. Next thing i knew, i was inspired! I wrote a stargazing themed album, and started writing a book (didn’t get too far into it, unfortunately). I even sang a few songs via karaoke and learned some on guitar. I even tried to get a further understanding of the album, theorizing it as “rock opera”, only to recently find i was kinda right! All in all, I praise this amazing album. Here’s to another 25 years!

I felt this song so deeply. It came on EXACTLY when I needed it!

Chris B Yorkville, Il, US

I know this is a downer. This album meant so much to me AND it was there EXACTLY when I needed it!

A listen to MCIS can sweep me thru time to people, places & events. The songs vary in style/structure so completely you can’t force SP into a single category.

IN ‘95 My GF ended things, resulting in a lonely 90min trek home from NIU. In DeKalb, a train halted my progress just as snow flurries began. If I hadn’t been dumped, it would’ve been beautiful. “In the Arms of Sleep” started to play & I suddenly lost it. I repeated the song ALL the way home. I just felt it deeply! It was mainly the “mood” created by the song & partially the lyrics. Now, 25yrs on, it still carries me to that snowy night. With age I see it differently. I believe the song played EXACTLY when I needed it. It made me feel I wasn’t alone & was probably the beginning of healing!

thanks for writing it! I needed it!

Warmth…

Michael C. Hall Perth, AU

I was lucky enough to see their set in Fremantle at the Big Day Out in 1994, which was a great experience and a treat given i didn’t own an album of theirs. Then came the tour for MCIS where they came on stage to the awsome car chase scene from the Steve McQueen film “Bullitt”… That night they were mind blowing and as tight as any band i’ve seen since… Sometimes you’re just lucky enough to be into those things at the right time, and my general curiosity and interest in music of all kinds took me there in the 90s (amongst other places), to wit i’m eternally grateful for sharing the space at that time… Thank you – sincerely, Michael…

Tribute Song

PaKo Villalobos Aguascalientes, MX

MCIS is the album that instantly remind me a lot of good times in high school a very good friends and of course awesome partys!

25 years later me and my friends were looking for a song to make a cover and we were having trouble to choose a song that all of us like then I suggested Zero and 2 seconds after, everybody say “yeaaah that song it´s awesome” so we did the cover song in our style (Metal) , recorded and make a visualizer, we hope you like it!

Mixed Tape

Grumpy Gorman Ottawa, CA

I was in HS when Mellon Collie came and had a huge crush on a girl named Maggie Mae. Knowing she had been a huge fan of Siamese Dream, as soon as I bought my copy (of MC), I made a mixed tape of my favourite tracks from the album for her. It contained more of the dreamier cuts than the heavier layered guitar tracks, which seems fitting considered I was all goofy and cloudy headed. Maggie Mae never shared my romantic leanings, but it never diminished the wide-eyed magic of the moment. though the album stands strong as its own entity, it was always be entwined with this particular memory. Thanks for your part in it!

Smashing Pumpkins - Memories!