The Infinite Sadness

Jane Richards Portland, OR, US

This was the first Smashing Pumpkins album that my dad showed me. We would drive for ever until we finished it. And when he was diagnosed with cancer and had to shave off all his hair I always said that he looked like billy. Although his favorite song was drown, this will always be our album. 

Memories of the future past

Rodrigo Castel La Paz, BO

June 2020, while walking through La Paz City after months of lockdown, I listened to “Mellon Collie and the infinite Sadness” for the first time. Those piano notes made me feel one with the World, egoless, time stopped. Eternalized in a picture, I felt so lucky and grateful to be alive. Can someone forget this pandemic? 

Hospital

Lachlan Lucan, IE

I was admitted to hospital with a very serious illness about 2 years ago and was in ICU for a number of weeks. Couldn’t use my phone and all I had was a discman while I was there. The first album I asked for was MCIS and it really helped me in my recovery, the themes of hope and the beautiful soundscapes got me through many a lonely time while I was there. Thank you eternally.

Youth Soundtrack

Kyle Dunn Mount Carmel, IL, US

In short, MCIS has been a soundtrack to my entire teenage years.  Through love woes, sad days, pandemic lockdowns, and drives with friends, this album has gotten me through it all.  “By Starlight” is especially dear to me, I treasure the song immensely.  Will love MCIS forever <3

Growing up with SP

Asher FL, US

the pumpkins have been and still are my favourite band of all time. I found out about them mainly from my mother, whom was a big SP fan growing up. The MCIS album has stuck with me for years, and I played the album on repeat during some of the hardest times. Thank you so much.

1979, Rain, Biking & Coffee

Krish Gupta New Delhi, Delhi, IN

One year ago, September 2019, the dull smell of rain in the air. After a long day at school I come home tired, wondering where it all went wrong. Took out my bicycle and decided to got for a ride all alone. Somewhere along the way, 1979 came on very randomly. I like that song. Gave me the feeling of being loved and having loads of good friends again. Gave me my simple dream of being accepted again. Gave me hope that better days will come. As I rode I reached a pretty bad coffee shop but still I sat there and listened to 1979. And now, “As you can see there’s no one around”. I know I’m still a kid but I don’t know when I’ll be happy again so I listen to this song to just get hope. 

Car Crash non-superstar

Sam Valdes Mexico City, Mexico. , MX

My parents took me to a weddint to Matamoros. We had free time, so we went to Brownsville and they bought me MCIS as a Christmas Present. The day after the wedding, we were driving South towards Tampico, when the car axle broke. My uncle was driving and he kept us safe.
My MCIS jewelcase cracked, CDs were fine, except for a scratch from a piece of jewel case.

i made my own poster of the smashing pumpkins

ernesto los angeles,California , US

this is a poster of the single of 1979

Musicland

Stanley Foss Ca, US

I bought MCIS at Musicland (which closed many years ago) in Monterey, CA in 10/28/95. I kept the receipt because I just knew this was going to be something special and a day to be remembered. I took the album to my best friends house and we listened to the whole thing straight through and we’re captivated. My favorite lyric is ‘Suffer my desire for you’; it says everything in 5 words. This album would become the soundtrack to my youth. 

Family/teenage memories

Nadine la, Ca , US

I was 14 or 15 when I saw you guys live for the first time. Went to this gig with my cousins. The plus was seeing you for the fist time and my other favorite band Garbage for the first time. I’m so glad I got to experience this with family. Next time I saw you live was Ava Adore tour with a good opening band Stabbing Westward, then again recently with my brother in law,  for the tour with Liam Gallagher. All such great memories

My First CD

Brett Lee Oceanside, CA, US

When I turned 13 years old, I got for my birthday my first CD player. With birthday money in hand, I rushed to the record store to buy my first CD: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, the latest from the Smashing Pumpkins.  See, even at that time I was already a fan, but I had to settle with listening to friends’ copies or *gasp* dubbings to a cassette. That album, every second of it, became burned into my memory. Every middle school, adolescent tragedy, crush, and heartbreak had these song playing in the background. I love that album and still listen to it start to finish often. 

Changing

Matthew Patton Dayton, Ohio, US

I got MCIS used at a “CD Connection” store. Stayed in my cars 6 Disc CD changer for the whole summer and still call it the comprehensive soundtrack to my young life. I changed and began to look at everything differently after experiencing that album. This album and Final Fantasy 7 was a huge influence on me. 

Infinite Loneliness

Aimee Brockville, Ontario, CA

I was a depressed teen, not knowing what to do in life. I chose to move to a larger city (Ottawa) to go to college, and the first month there SP were touring. I did not know anyone there, but I bought a ticket and planned a bus route to get to the concert. I loved the album so much that summer, that I wrote a letter to Billy, I never sent it or kept it. The album helped with my sadness. The night of the show I felt alone, but in the crowd I was excited and I felt like I belonged. There is a beauty that comes from sadness. This was the first and only concert I ever went to alone. The bus ride home I talked with some fans but they got off at a stop before me. I went to the last stop on the line that night, but it was still far from where I lived. I didn’t know where I was, I had not thought this through. Terrified at this abandoned outdoor bus terminial, I figured out  what  street I was near and I either used a pay phone or waved down a cab ride because this was before cell phones. In any case, I made it into the cab and I was relieved to have enough cash on me to pay for the ride home. The loneliness I felt after the show was intense, but the music made it worth this experience. I felt stronger after and that I could make out okay on my own.

I still struggle with loneliness all the time and I am grateful for this album.

promo copy

Stacy Mecklenburg Fredericksburg, US

I was working at a record store in upstate NY when we received a promotional copy of Mellon Collie. I had been a fan of the band, and was excited to hear the new double album. We played it no less than 10 times in a row that first day, and that’s the day I fell in love with Billy Corgan. His genius sneaked into my heart like a bull sneaking into a china shop. I fell hard, and forever. 

Forever Connected

Carol Linden, VA, US

After a bad divorce, I found the love of my life in 1996.  We loved MCIS, and every song was poetry for our relationship.   He would call me on the phone and without saying a word would play Tonight Tonight. for me.  Sadly, he passed away from cancer years later.  Now every time I hear the song it reminds me of him and makes me smile.    “And our lives are forever changed – We will never be the same”

Sweet XV

Mónica Mendoza Mexico City, Mexico, MX

I was turning 15 years old and in Mexico, families have the tradition to do a party for their daughters, something like the Sweet 16th for USA: I didn’t wanted to have a party because I was not into that, but at the end, we did it. Is common that the girl dance a Waltz and I chose Tonight, Tonight, of course, my parents decided to go for something more traditional. At the party, one person gave me a special edition of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and I played Tonight, Tonight. I dance with my parents, friends and family. That’s the only good memory I have from that day. Thanks Smashing Pumpkins for so much! 

Childhood Memories

Patrick Albany, US

I was 5 years old when MCIS came out. Some of my fondest memories of my childhood are seeing the music videos for Bullet, 1979 & Tonight, Tonight on mTV. I remember my mom & grandma driving me to do errands & 1979 playing on the car radio. The nostalgia of those songs made way for my full-blown fandom in 2005 when I found my brother’s CD copy & borrowed it. He got mad because I overplayed the crud out of it. I drowned in the rest of their catalogue, and I haven’t turned back since. I still get goosebumps when I watch the vid for Tonight x2.

MCIS Triple Trouble

Paul Cannock, GB

Bought MCIS on release and had to pick two copies (one for the girlfriend at the time). Without mobile phones, I had no way to ask her which version she wanted so I bought the triple vinyl and the CD and asked her which she wanted when I saw her. She took the triple vinyl and a year later we broke up, not because of the vinyl but because I was a dick. We got back together about 12 years later and I never brought up the idea of getting it back. After a couple of years we broke up again and both got married so it’s now gone forever. Prices for that triple set are mad now but I’d love to get a vinyl reissue

Mellon Collie Baby

Christina Big Spring, US

MCIS always reminds me of being 13, laying in the bed of my dad’s truck, stargazing, & listening to this album. I never skipped a song. Been a Pumpkins fan ever since. 

Forever, you.

Glen Fernandez Phoenix, AZ, US

I was completely hooked the moment I saw BWBW on MTV. I vividly remember the first time I heard Zero shortly after; same when the 1979 and Tonight, Tonight videos premiered. I was completely obsessed. I had a SP shirt for every day of the week at school, and even wrote the full lyrics to 1979 on the chalkboard in my 7th grade English class. I was THE Pumpkins guy at school. While I often performed air-guitar SP concerts in my room, the MCIS tour in ’96 was my first real concert. I made my family wait with me in line at the box office to get tickets (with folding chairs in tow). The entire MCIS experience – the album, the artwork, the videos, the b-sides – have partially defined who I am and what I like, and for that, I am forever grateful. 

The journey of a lifetime

Laila Washington, US

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness took me from enthusiastic Smashing Pumpkins fan to utterly obsessed Smashing Pumpkins fan. No other music connects with my soul as strongly, and the journey over the last 25 years since MCIS’s release has been incredible.  When I married my husband of 10 years, I walked down the aisle to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.

I think I love this band

Kristen North Wilkesboro, North Carolina, US

I’m riding in the car with my mom. 1979 comes on the radio, and I say to my mom, “Momma, I think I love this band.” After that, I changed my entire bedroom to reflect my love. It stayed that way until it became my brother’s room a few years later, the posters on the walls changed will subsequent album releases.

Calgary AB, Mellon Collie Tour Stop

Jeff Neily Calgary, Alberta, CA

My memory is seeing the Pumpkins in Calgary AB on the Mellon Collie Tour and I had floor seats for this gig at the Saddledome. Right in front of me, sitting with his son, was Bret “The Hitman” Hart. Billy, being a big wrestling fan, would appreciate that “The Hitman” attended this show. 

French kids

Simon Quebec City, CA

At the ages of 13 and 15, my brother and I spoke little English and kept calling our radio station requesting “bullet and da flowing”, with the angsty chorus that started with “spine nanarana”.  I bought the album and every one since then.

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Memories

Billy Aikens Rockford, TN, US

Listening to this album recalls my youth. This album is hanging out and playing magic with friends. This album is getting off from high school and heading out for a night of fun. This album is long lost loves of youth. This album is when music meant more. This album is when life was so complex it was simple, this album is life, love, sadness, and yes happiness as well. This album is also the present as my son listens for the first time and falls in love with this music. It is the future as I grow old still a pumpkin head.

Thirty Three

Michelle Rialto, CA, US

Tenth grade year 2000. I needed to  breakdown a song as a poem and rewrite the analysis as a full report. I chose Thirty Three, but needed the lyrics typed and printed. I used this excuse to ask my crush if he could help with printing the lyrics. Handed him the lyric book, and he agreed to help. Throughout the years, through a friendship that has been both virtuous and unfavorable, we always find our way back to a fortunate friendship.  We both agree 20 years later, that Thirty Three reminds us of each other. Every lyric in that song seems to have been printed out for our friendship.