Teenage Years

Shaunagh New Mills, Derbyshire, GB

My memories may seem boring compared to some, but smashing pumpkins are my total fave. In my teenage years I wasn’t exactly popular and had a lot going on, I may have been 19 years late but this album really helped me through all that and made me feel like I belonged. Love the merge of thrash and peaceful tracks. All I can say is thank you 🙏🏻 

Mellon Collie saved my life


In the summer of 1995 I was subjected to child abuse that left lifelong scars. That October an album came out that showed me there was hope in the darkness and that I would survive. That it was not my fault these things happened and others have been where I was and persevered. MCIS will always be my favourite album period. It is a light in a dark year for me and has remained a constant in the 25 years since. It is impossible to express my feelings other than to thank WPC and the pumpkins for this masterpiece. Singular, Beautiful, timeless. From a lifelong fan

The album that changed my life

Francesco Bologna, IT

I saw the concert in Milan in 1996, april 24th, one of the best concerts I’ve ever seen, started with Mellon Collie and the infinite sadness and ended with farewell and goodnight ❤

My Grandmother Hazel

Sarah Slancauskas Hereford, GB

Melan Collie and the Infinite Sadness (Track One) was played at my beautiful grandmother’s funeral. We wanted a song to begin her service, but couldn’t find one that fit. Then my brother, the one who introduced me to the band, suggested this song. We agreed straight away. It was such a beautiful piece of music, and she was as beautiful as Marilyn Monroe, and deserved a perfect end. We sobbed as the piano started. When I hear it now I remember her, not her funeral. Hazel. I do cry sometimes when the first keys sound, and other times I just sit quietly and contemplate life, death and the after. I think about her. It’s painful and tender. I love it. It’s very dear to me.

Winter Tunes

Ryan Park-Lopes Brantford, Ontario, CA

I used to do this long 2 hour drive from Hamilton to Barrie Ontario during the winter, and I would always pop in Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness and blast it the whole way there. Now, whenever I listen to it, it reminds me of those melancholic (haha) winter drives, with the cold wind on my arms and snow on my windshield.  Especially songs like Galapagos and Thru The Eyes of Ruby. 

Pushy Sales Woman

Joe McCullagh Launceston, Tasmania , AU

In 1995 a friend of mine recommended buying the Siamese Dream CD, and I loved Disarm, so I did. The sales woman was pushy, and I ended up pre-ordering the deluxe edition of MCIS as well. I love that woman, she changed my life! 17 at the time, and just getting into alternative music, and this album was like a reflection of my soul. 

Love of my life!

Paul Ramsey New Cumnock, East Ayrshire , GB

I was a young British Solider based in Canada. There I met an amazing woman called Margo! We would stay in her room talking to the early hours listening to MCIS album. At that time I didn’t realise I was sitting across from the woman who I would be married to for over 24 years and have 3 amazing children together. The power of the pumpkins 😍 x

May it hold you through the winter of a long night

Marcin Warsaw, PL

I remember buying Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness on CD in early 2016. I was nearly 18 at the time and little did I know, this album was everything I needed at that time. The feeling of some kind of an inevitable closure of youth and beginning my adult life, was terrifing. Add to that the loneliness and (then) untreated depression and you’ll get the idea. So when I first heard the music that was the ulltimate mix of those feelings, I couldn’t help, but fall in love. All this instrumental rage, passion, yearning and unnamed nostalgia was all I wanted from art. And the lyrics completed that. I was “in love with my sadness”, “burning up in speed in my teen machines” and “I hurt where I couldn’t feel”. To this day, that album is my everlasting inspiration and, truly, my savior, that kept me – and it still does – from the loneliness of myself. 

Love can last forever

Jasmine Barnegat NJ, US

Siamese Dream was my first exposure to SP, but Mellon Collie cemented a decades long  obsession. I would listen by myself for hours on repeat. My father took me to the Madison Square Garden stop on the tour in ‘96 and again to Long Island in ‘97. I wore my tour shirt to school almost every single day. In art class I made a collage incorporating Mellon Collie artwork from magazine ads. I still own it, it’s hanging on the wall with all my other Pumpkins treasures. I have my husbands initials tattooed my my wrist in Mellon Collie font, as a reminder of our shared lifelong love of The Smashing Pumpkins. 

A tribute to the song that changed my life

Cesar Rondon Houston, TX, US

This is a song that changed my life forever. “Tonight Tonight” is one of the top 5 in my life’s soundtrack, with so many things that make me reminisce the meaning of time, love and dreams. From the city by the lake (the place where I was born in Venezuela) to a new country (United States), I made this graphic tribute to those who inspired me to believe.

The tape

Jennifer Wilson Hainesport New Jersey, US

So I was about 16 and I went with my mother to see the Pumpkins at the Spectrum in Philly. It was my first time seeing them. It was July 5th and 6th . I had tickets to both shows. I, being an overly emotional crazy Pumpkins fan, cried hysterically during both the shows. I was right up front and at some point my mom just happened to meet Yelena who was also up front. They started talking and my mom said she was there with her daughter… and she pointed me out. And yelena said “oh the one that’s been crying for two days? Hold on a sec”. And she came back with two backstage passes. I went backstage after the show and met the whole band and had them sign this scrapbook that I had made and brought with me. And then I told Billy (through an immense amount of tears) that  I had never heard the song “Jennifer Ever” (no internet back then) and that I wanted to hear it because my name is Jennifer. He told me to give him my address and he would send me a tape he made for the band. 

I found myself, In you.

Amanda Bath, Maine, US

Teenage times were extremely hard for me, finding your music and the way Billy spoke to me at age 14 changed my life forever. I got MCIS for xmas and sat for hours trying to understand what Billy was saying. He’s always spoke to me, as he does today. 🖤


Love the band!

Friends with good taste

Hudsun zylstra Burford Ontario , CA

My friend was always a huge fan of smashing pumkins. And he told me to listen to melon collie and I kind of brushed it off and never got around to it. Then one day on a car trip with him he played it and I was hooked. Zero, here is no why and thru the eyes or ruby stood out as the best to me. And ever since its been one of my favorites. I played 1979 at a coffee house at my highschool and hope to do more when covid is over.

Toulouse la Trek

Gareth Jones Scotland, GB

Adventures abroad in the south of France in the summer of 96, my first trip away with friends and no parents. long warm coach rides staring out to fields of sunflowers and mountains and falling asleep with this incredible noise filing my ears and forever becoming part of my psyche till the day i die. The night did come to hold us young.

Life changing

Nick Leamington spa, GB

The first time I heard of the Smashing Pumpkins was seeing the epic Tonight Tonight video on a Saturday morning. It blew me away, I had never heard or seen anything like it. A few weeks later a friend was listening to MCIS and I asked if I could have a listen. I heard up to Bullet and then as a 14 year old went and bought Siamese. I would not be the person I am today had I not heard that one song. I have seen it live 3 times and have cried tears of joy each time. Thank you all so much! The impossible is possible….

My dad

Amy Jamieson Northampton , GB

My first SP album. My late dad bought it for me. My love grew and dad and I would spend our weekends searching record fares and markets for SP CDs. He found some gems. MCIS will always be my favourite album ever, for the music but also what it gave me through my dad. I miss him

Soundtrack of my youth

Bjørn Inge Nøkling Bergen, Vestland, NO

I was 16 and home with the flu when I asked my mother if she could buy the double album for me, as I heard rumours about its release. I remember I had to write down the name of the album, and my mother found it to be very odd. When she came home from grocery (and album) shopping, I was still in bed feeling sick. I put on the cd on my stereo and got goose bumps when the piano-intro started. I knew right there and then that I was in for an experience unlike anything I’d experienced before. This album painted memories during my most formative years that I cherish deeply to this day. This album has fused with my soul, and I am forever in debt to Billy and the band for creating it❤️🌞🌑❤️

One of my favorite albums

Scott Collins Madison, Wisconsin, US


Sneaking up to Sydney

Katherine Canberra , AU

My parents told me I was too young to go to Sydney without them and I couldn’t go, I was not missing out; so I bought my ticket anyway I saved and saved. Dad dropped me off at school and I immediately went to the city to catch the 3 hr bus up to the Horden Pavillion show. It was amazing AND we met the band the show was magical. Mum picked me up from school the next day after my “birthday sleepover” none the wiser; I had my friend come over a week later with all my tour merch saying “im sorry you couldn’t come we got you this”. No regrets- it was the first time I’d experienced that kind of positive power as 15 year old who didnt fit in. 

Rageful Depression

Jesus Ortiz California, US

This was the album that introduced me to the Smashing Pumpkins and during the time I was facing issues with depression and learning how to hide it. It was the album that got me to rethink suicide and to not feel alone and turn it all into rage and laughter instead of depression. People will say Zero or Tonight, Tonight is their favorite songs from the album, but mine will always be X.Y.U for that heavy, angry tone was what me get up and move on. For this I say thank you to one of the best bands of all time.

Here is no why

Deny Vides San Antonio, Texas, US

So two years ago i went through a bad breakup, and the song here is no why would always help me get through my blues, lyrics like “may the king of gloom be forever doomed” and “teen machines” made me realized that i dont have to be sad and that i have to make the best out of everyday


Gabriel East chicago, IN, US

I’ve always loved Mellon collie and the infinite sadness, it is the best album I’ve heard a MASTERPIECE. Phonaminal album glimmer, i have stuck with it for years and it helped me thru my depression and my time of need

thank you

Launch night.

Frederick Leesville, US

I remember being so excited for this record. In Austin, 107.7 KNACK played a vinyl version on the radio live a few hours before the album came out. It was such a great experience listening to all the songs for the first time and then going to the record store in the morning to buy a copy. The album is a masterpiece to me. Thank you SP.


Billy, text me sometime.


Infinite Sadness!

Christopher Hernandez Miami, FL, US

After Kurt left us, it was Billy, Trent and Eddie V.  that were still here to carry the weight of our teenage hearts and minds in the 90s. The title said it all “infinite sadness”. I remember getting the massive double disc on Tuesday release day at Circuit City. That day the band also premiered tracks from the album on a radio broadcast that featured interviews about the making of the album and I remember hearing “this track has Flood all over it” Billy referring to By Starlight. It was our generation’s The Wall. It’s a treasured album that today sounds just as fresh and relevant as it did in 95! There are songs on there for every mood but my favorite is a playlist with Zero, XYU, An Ode to No One, and Where Boys Fear to Tread. Throw in all the b-sides to Zero for good measure. “And in the eyes of the jackal I say kaboom”!  Love you MCIS!!!

Birmingham ‘96

Iam Brighton, GB

First gig. Unforgettable. I bunked school for the first time the next day to reflect. It changed everything. ^ that shirt is a £5 boot from outside. Youtube footage is my band covering Stumbleine years later. 🖤

Mellon Collie

Jordan Resnick Gaithersburg, MD, US

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is my favorite album of all time. I grew up listening to this album on repeat and it is what got me into music and inspired me to pick up the guitar. The way the album goes from sweet, loving songs, to some of the heaviest songs I’ve ever heard, is astounding. It is truly a triumph, and it means so much to me.

Free Concert Tickets

Austin Smitj Grand Rapids, MI, US

I went to my local record store, and picked out “Siamese Dream” and “MCIS”, and I realized that the “MCIS” cd was a promo, and it has the receipt from an employee from ‘95, and in “Siamese Dream” there were 2 concert tickets and a newspaper cut out from ‘95. I wish I could have gone to the concert!!

To Forgive. My birthday song.

Ahkin Mendoza Tultitlán, Estado de México, MX

One of the best albums ever. This album means a lot of to me, when I was a lonely boy fighting against my parents divorce I met SP and listen To Forgive. That song brings a great meaning for me. I love SP since that day.

Time is Never Time at All

Kim Delbarton, US

I fell in love with SP and their music, including MCIS, when I was a junior in high school (07-08). I decided the album’s title track was going to be the song I would walk down the aisle to, even though I had no boyfriend at the time. I met my husband in 2008, we married in 2013. I walked down the aisle to MCIS and it was perfect.

Nicolas Kitchener, Ontario, CA

I was very young when Mellon Collie came out, but that album helped through some of the toughest times in my life. It got me through break ups, depression and some of the worst moments growing up. I literally owe it my life (especially By Starlight)

Redefining myself

Carter Riley White Missouri, US

I remember driving with a buddy to a house party, about halfway there I said “Hey let’s listen to some good music before we sit and listen to trap for 4 hours” I turned on 1979 and spun the volume knob all the way to right, and rolled the windows down feeling great. Then I remember listening to 1979 at the bottom of a vodka bottle some months later, trying to find that feeling of the drive to the house party (ironically like the music video) what MCIS helped me discover is: Those memories that most resonate with you come from one another, not a drug, a drink, cigarette or a circumstance. Thank you smashing pumpkins


Adriana Rodríguez Madrid, ES

MCIS takes me to when I was 15 years old and spent all day in my room drawing MCIS pictures (the ones featured in the album’s booklet). I discovered the first single BWBW thanks to the Spanish radio (Los 40 Principales) and soon I got the whole album, with all the songs resounding in my head. I was fascinated by all the aesthetic and style that Billy gave to this phase in the band’s path. Absolutely beautiful and whimsical! Some memories never fade!


Joel Jacobsen Troy, MI, US

Discovered MCIS in Jr. High school through a friend.  I was learning to play guitar and was obsessed with the Beatles and Oasis.  I couldn’t get into the album at all.  Out of my league and depth.  It was not until the Tonight single/ep was released and I could hear WPC’s songwriting in its most basic shape that I finally connected with the album.  MCIS was my introduction to so many styles of music I had never heard before.  Forever grateful for giving this masterpiece!!!  It taught me so much about music.

My Mellon Collie and the Infinite Grateful

Christian Angulo México City, MX

This is just my memory of how I got to the Smashing Pumpkins and MCIS.

MCIS still holds up today

Matthew Pittsfield Massachusetts , US

Mellon collie and the infinite sadness is such a great album, it still holds up perfectly today. It reminds me of when I heard the album before I went to high school I was 14. If there was a way to wear a cd out it would have happened ha!  I showed it to all my friends and they quickly turned into fans as well. Thanks all you guys for such great memories and great music and more to come.

Bought MCIS 1st day!

Benjamin Bedford, US

I went to Best Buy on my lunch break in high school to buy MCIS on release day! I immediately shoved it into my car cd player and fell in love. I bought every cd single and loved the b-sides.  I had the 1979 art on a giant poster on my wall. The Dallas concert in December 96 stands as my favorite concert of all time!


meera abu dhabi, AE

As a 20 year old Emirati girl who spent most of her childhood and somewhat adulthood alone i have always sought refuge in mellon collie and the infinite sadness. My life changed when my brother made me listen to 1979  for the first time in 2010. Finding out about the smashing pumpkins was the sort of comfort i needed in order to survive and disconnect from the world. I truly live by the lyric “the more you change the less you feel” and think about it daily. I’m grateful for the existence of the album that changed me and the way i deal with my emotions. This album and the memory of my brother MJ excitingly making me watch every single music video on youtube will always mean the world to me.

Jellybelly, always Jellybelly

P.J. Marino US

Back in ’95, I was a stand up comic in Boston. Before every show, while roaming downtown looking for a parking spot, I’d listen to Jellybelly. It was my ritual. Jellybelly before the show. Always.

Youth transformed

Andrew J D Toronto, Ontario, CA

I’d never liked music, but that rainy day Dad just had to pee for free at a bar with TVs sporting a moon with a bullet in its eye. Soon, our umbrellas became defenders, I knew the lyrics to Zero better than the babysitter, and swapped camp air band from YMCA to BWBW; eyes black, never looking back.