Hurts so good

Erica Rodriguez Buffalo, NY, US

This album means October to me. I was fresh into my freshman year of highschool. Nothing has ever sounded like this before. I was in awe. For 25 years, without even thinking about it.. come October when the weather changes, this album comes out. It brings back a special time in my life, it brings back memories and even scents. To Forgive is one of my favorites. It hurts so good. 🖤🖤🖤

Summer of SP

Sam Washington, DC, US

I spent July 1996 with my grandparents, and unlike my parents, they had cable. Which meant I could watch MTV. I would let it play for hours just to catch the incredible “Tonight, Tonight” video. Then I would make a small notch on a notepad as I tallied how many times I had seen the video. I forget the final number, but obviously the memory lives on. As I spent August at the beach, I wore the tape out, listening and relistening to each song, and for some reason, painstakingly copying the lyrics. I’ve never looked back in my SP love.

The Academy

Dean Middletown, NJ, US

Opening night

Mark Horn Fishers, IN, US

SP opened the tour in my hometown of Saginaw, MI and i was a stagehand. I got quite a few show used guitar pics and a tee. It was awesome!

How SP Came Into My Life

Pat Meyer Pennsylvania, US

Now this goes as far back as when I was very young. Much of my older cousins were one of those kids who grew up in the 90’s as teenagers. A couple of them are fans of The Smashing Pumpkins. The name pretty much fascinated me for a very long time. I didn’t get into their music until I was 15. I bought the double album “Mellon Collie & the Infinite Sadness”. Ever since that time, Jeff Soles (one of my older cousins and devoted SP fan who met Billy Corgan at their 2000 show) Would clue me in on how to catch on to their other material. I’ve followed up on all of their music since becoming a full-fledged SP fan. I’ve always considered “Mellon Collie” to be not only the best album I have ever heard, but also the holy grail of 90’s alternative rock albums; and I still think that to be true to this day.

Snack Money

Vanessa - Nessa Pumpkins São Paulo, BR

My most strong memory with MCIS was when I saved all the snack money for the week so I could buy the CD.

I was 12 years old  when i got it. I  walked back home home holding so tight like it was the most precious treasure. And it really is!

Forever Melancholic

Lucas Rivard Windsor, CA

When my uncle played me some songs from Siamese dream I was blown away, that was my first indicator. So one day I was rummaging through his big plastic CD bin, I pulled out a CD case which caused my brain to experience some sort of amnesia as memories of an album cover with the woman draped over a star and planets rushed through my brain from all through my younger life. Later that night I popped the CD in and when I heard that soft piano, I knew .. This was something special! Through the weeks of listening to tonight, tonight, here is no why, Jelly belly , Galapagos, Porcelina, Zero and so on. I found myself surrounded by Comfort, understanding and Pride listening to and thinking about the songs. it was my new favorite music!… And at that point, I had yet to shove in disk 2……

Kept me from the loneliness of myself

Matt Tremont, MS, US

Vivid memories from this day in 1995.  I’d just turned 15, transitory unnecessary sadness, new school, no friends, self isolation.  Like others of a similar ilk in that time, I often escaped into music spending hours alone in my room.  My father (single dad), who couldn’t take me to get the album arranged for me to stay home from school, and for a friend of his to drive me to the mall on that chilly, cloudy, Illinois morning to get the album.  I spent days listening to it and over and over.  And over.  Thanks for everything SP; keep going!

Mellon Collie reminds me of meeting my first love 🖤

Laura M California , US

SP was my favorite band when I was in 7th grade, around when Mellon Collie was out, I had just discovered Siamese Dream and the rest of the catalog as well and was obsessed. On the first day of English class that year, a boy with green hair and a Mellon Collie t-shirt walked in and sat across the room. He was like no one else I’d ever met and he liked my favorite band! Never stopped thinking about that boy and watched him grow into an amazing man from a distance as our lives went different directions. 20ish years later when we began dating as adults, we finally got to go see SP play live together. Full circle moment. Happiest I’ve ever been 🖤🖤🖤

Horizon

Zachary Osseo, MN, US

I found out about The Smashing Pumpkins when I was 15 years old, and they’ve since been my favorite band, (I’m 19, now).  It was a fun time of my life; an age of discovery, thoroughly wrought with long nights spent alone in my room, listening to shoegaze, drawing and painting the nights away.

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness was the first CD I ever bought, (at the aforementioned age, at a Down in the Valley).  I brought it home and and studied every square inch of the jewel case / booklet whilst religiously listening to those 122 minutes on repeat, and found myself endlessly tantalized
by the artwork displayed on the back of the CD case… The sheer beauty conveyed in the piece was heartwarming to my young soul.  I decided I’d use it as inspiration for a drawing, (as, above all else, I’m first an artist).  So, I began the three-week-straight process of creating a wonderful pen and ink piece, appropriately named, “Horizon”.

At 15, and to this day, I considered this piece the “turning point” of my artistic endeavors.  It was when my art became an identity for me, really.  It marked the “growing up” of both me and my art; for no longer was I churning out mindless sketches of heads exploding and people eating eyeballs.  No, from that point on, my art became something greater.

I think this theme of “growing up” is prominent throughout the entirety of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, and, thankfully it crept in and played its part in my life.  15 was also a very lonely time of life for me, and these themes are as well evident throughout the album.  I experienced my first love, and first breakup.  It was the age when most, if not all, of my childhood friends decided it best to abandon me for one reason or another.

However, through better or worse and through thick and thin, all of these things have played a huge part in creating who I am today, and that’s, at the very least, someone who’s alive and smiles often.

I think that’s the lesson that could be taken away from Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.  It’s a wildly manic record that soars from the highest highs of, “Tonight, Tonight” to the gaping, trenching lows of “X.Y.U.” — from track to track, it’s always on the horizon of something new.

And, what is life if not that, exactly?

I don’t know, man.

P.S. —
one funny memory I have from first becoming a fan: I’d frequently play Smashing Pumpkins on my family’s Amazon Echo, and, because of this, turned on most of my 8 younger siblings to the band.  Due to this, I distinctly remember my younger brothers yelling, “Alexa, play “Rat in a Cage!“

Christmas

Jim Pleasant Ridge, MI, US

I gave this CD to my brother for Christmas when we were in high school. I slept on the floor of his room and we listened to the whole thing and then fell asleep on the repeat listen.  I cherish that memory and will always cherish this album. 

The Greatest Concert

Kayes Saskatoon, Saskatchewan , CA

I was 18 and in my first year of university when I saw the Smashing Pumpkins in 1996. It was a life changing experience! I have seen many many legendary bands and to this day The MCIS tour was  the best concert I’ve ever seen. 

My sleeve

KayTee Topeka, KS, US

Since the first time I saw the video for Tonight, Tonight, I was obsessed.  I finally took the plunge and got a sleeve done based on the video.  Mellon Collie has held the #1 album spot on my list since it’s release and I don’t think it will be moving any time soon.

Love on Repeat

Michelle CA, US

When I was a kid I washed cars to save up money and this was the first CD/Double Disc I ever bought. I listened to both Discs over and over with my crappy little CD player. I only took my headphones off for class and to shower, it was my escape. Still my top favorite, classics never get old

Tonight Tonight

Fernando Ordaz Mexico City , MX

This álbum remindme a Stage of youth and innocence. It’s like going back in time where the only cares was knowing about new music and watch music videos. 

Young Love

John Midland, MI, US

My memory involves an X-girlfriend I never quite got over. I still think of Becky when I listen to Mellon Collie… we fell in love to it. We were 20-21 years old, and I remember buying it the day it came out, and bringing it to her house to listen. I don’t think we knew it at the time, but we were living the best years of our lives. 1995 will always be a special year to remember, with a great soundtrack. ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. 

My Teenage Bible

Sam Woy Woy, AU

I was in Jr High School when a teacher heard I wanted to get into listen to Mellon Collie but I wasn’t able to get the album at the time. He made me a copy and one day gave it to me as a gift in school. First time I listened to it I was blown away, it all mad sense to the feelings I had at the time towards school, my friends, my teenage mind and the world. I would listen to it at any time I could, fell asleep listening to it, listened to it during school it became as I describe it my “Teenage Bible”. Today it still remains an album close to me as it helped me during my struggling teen years. 

Everything changed.

Nicolás Buenos Aires, AR

My mom made me listen to Tonight, tonight (on the radio) one morning before school. I was 12, and a “this is it” feeling took over me. That weekend we went to the record store and I got my copy of Mellon Collie… and everything changed. That band, and that album, that was MY thing. And I’ve loved them both ever since.

“We Will Never Be the Same…”

Aaron Archual Roanoke, VA, US

At age 12, by the pool with family, I heard 1979. I looked at the cover, and that mysterious maiden in the stars drew me in. ASAP, I put on the whole album. When I first heard “Tonight Tonight”, it made me pick up the guitar, want to make something new for the first time, and changed me forever.

Mellon Collie & The Infinite Sadness Tour

Hillary Gordon US

My best friends and me in 10th grade, late night, after seeing The Smashing Pumpkins for the very first time in Phoenix, Arizona. We bonded over that album and would see The Pumpkins many more times in our lives (together and apart.) I was 15 in this photo- and my life had just been changed forever. 

Just in time

Matías Imbrogno Ciudad Autónoma de Buenos Aires, AR

I can’t begin to describe how this album makes me feel. It came to me in a really tough part of my life: I was about to start my university studies, and I had to face a new world full of new people all by myself. I wasn’t gonna be easy,  but music was always there for me. That’s when I first fully listened to MCIS… I recall being left speechless for some time. As the piece of art it is, it created a strong bond with me that will live on forever. I have my ups and downs, but thanks to your music, I’ll always have another reason to get up and fight.

A mere “thank you” falls short. Keep up the good work 💪🏻

A melancholic and touching journey

Manuel Donato Catanzaro, CZ, IT

I’ve always been a reflective and melancholic soul, constantly searching for something that could have expressed my inner feelings:  I found this lifeline in MCIS, more an experience than simply a music album, capable of bringing back memories of better and brighter times and translating them into new strength to deal with everyday life and its challenges.
Also, I had the pleasure to attend your Bologna concert in October 2018, finally achieving my dream of listening to your music live: what a better occasion to celebrate this immortal masterpiece?

First CD I Ever Bought

Mac Grambauer Chicago, US

Mellon Collie was the first CD I ever bought myself. I was ten years old and “Tonight Tonight” was all over the radio (93XRT). I loved it. And confined to my quiet, forest preserve-bordered northwest corner of the city, I marveled at the reality of the band on the radio playing that song being from here. The same place I was from.

I saved up allowance so I could go up to the Best Buy with my Dad and buy the (double!) CD. I didn’t even have a CD player yet. I listened to it on an old “portable” CD player of my Dad’s. It weighed about three pounds and was caged in a metal case that made it look like a cinder block and it only wouldn’t skip if it sat on the floor under the end table in the corner of the living room. So I crawled under the table and listened to Mellon Collie. I got a CD
player that Christmas and my repeat listens moved to my bedroom and continued for months. I stared at the booklet with the “funny animal art” and the “star lady” on the cover. I read and re-read the lyric book. It was my favorite CD. The Smashing Pumpkins were my favorite band. And “Tonight Tonight” was my favorite song.

The favorite CD and favorite band didn’t change, but over the following years the favorite song did. As other albums came into my life in the final years of elementary school, Mellon Collie became less frequent in the rotation, but still “Zero” and “Bullet with Butterfly Wings” became more prominent in my life soundtrack. As I transitioned from my familiar elementary school into the disorienting jungle of high school, “The world is a vampire” and the wistful longing invoked by “1979” took on a new significance.

As my freshman year dragged on I found myself turning more and more to Mellon Collie, my old companion. I didn’t know it then, but that move to high school triggered my first bout with depression. I didn’t know what was wrong with me or what to do about it, and it would be quite some time before that first bout would dissipate. In the meantime, in the absence of my old friends, amidst increasing
arguments with my Mom, and a new aloofness towards my Dad that I seemingly couldn’t control, Mellon Collie was who I turned to. I returned to repeat listens and hours spent staring at the lyrics. At one point, instead of writing a science report, I picked out clip art and fonts for each of the 28 songs and typed them out according to how Billy sang them (the line breaks in the lyric books didn’t quite match). I taped each sheet up in border around the top of my bedroom walls and got a D in biology, continuing my epic descent from straight A student to misanthropic fuck up and setting off a bomb in my relationship with my Mother.

Still, it helped me. That ring of lyrics encircling me in my room tethered me to myself. Lost as I was, they were a lighthouse beam I could focus on in the dark. And “To Forgive” and Thirty-Three” captured all the feelings I couldn’t recognize, let alone express.

But none of them, beautiful, dependable friends that they were, gave me the roots that “Galapogos” did.

It was late evening in one of the cold months—late Fall or early Winter. I was sitting on my bed with the annoyingly bright lamp on and the door closed over to the noise of the kitchen. “Galapogos” was playing. And as it played I found myself standing up on my bed, turning to where the lyric sheet was taped on my wall. And it was like the sun hitting you in the face when you emerge from an unlit basement. It was painful and soothing and new, but had been there
forever, and suddenly “blanket skies” were safety and warmth and it was “funny how we pretend we’re still a child” and there was no need to deny pain or change or anything else. And even if you were a fool, someone was here with you.

Many years, bands, albums, songs later, and “Galapogos” is the only one that has ever wrapped me up in itself like that. It became and remains my favorite Pumpkins song. A few years after that night, my Dad came out from hanging shelves in my room asking if he could put on my Pumpkins CD. He was curious about a song whose lyrics had caught his attention. “Galapogos.” If ever I doubted I’m my father’s daughter.

I still have my first CD and the vinyl re-issue is a treasured piece of my record collection. And even if I sometimes go years without listening to it, I still know all the words to all the songs on Mellon Collie.

Thanks, Pumpkins. 

Great songs

Gary Enfield CT , US

I listened and lived this album, love, lonely, graceful, and crazy 

Forgot to add the pic!

Martin S Beaumont, AB, CA

Forgot to add this earlier (aka couldn’t find it, then found it) the James hair! But frizzy and curly 🙂

Mellon Collie & The Infinite Phonebill

Phil Shaw Liverpool, GB

Christmas ‘95. Lifting my Walkman to the mouthpiece of our old rotary dial phone, I hit play. At either end of the line my best friend Gareth and I listened for the first time, aghast at the power and brutality, delicacy and vulnerability, breadth and width. We were 12. The phone bill was much more!