Memories | The Smashing Pumpkins

I was introduced to MCIS on my “Sr. Class Trip from HELL”

Joanne Hutton Mooresville, NC, US

In March 1996, I was introduced to MCIS (and the Smashing Pumpkins) by a classmate of mine on a trip to Disney World. Our flight was delayed by 12 hours, because there were problems @ customs, crew issues, malfunctions on the plane, etc. and I was scared out of my mind, as this was my first ever time on a plane! The guy gave me his CD player as we were about to take off and told me to just listen and relax, starting with track 1, as I was sobbing uncontrollably in fear. When I got back home, I immediately went to the store and bought every SP thing I could get…I was hooked! I’ve seen them 15 times live since and have an extensive collection of SP memorabilia and albums.

5th grade and amazed

Jessica Fayetteville, AR, US

I was 10 years old and had saved up all my money to buy this album on CD. I walked over to Borders all proud of myself. I was not only in love with the music (never really had heard anything quite like SP) but the artwork, too. I still remember seeing the CD on the shelf…. It still to this day is my favorite album cover of all time. MCIS brings me right back to being in my room listening to this on repeat….thinking about all the complexities of a 10 year old’s world.

i feel the same.

Dan US

i was 16 when this record came out. i remember speeding around my small town in the dead of night in the car of my first friend who could drive. full of rage and frustration and love and nostalgia. feeling simultaneously like the center of the universe and less than nothing. about a decade later i remember walking around my college town listening to the entire record on headphones, feeling those same things. last month, at 41, i did the same thing. I FEEL THE SAME. when this album came out, my hyper-inflated sense of self-awareness told me i loved it because i was sixteen. now i know better. it wasn’t because i was sixteen.

My SP Journey Continues

Clay Tuckett Lindon, Utah, US

October 24, 1995 – 13 year old me sat in a Junior High school class eagerly anticipating school being over, so I could meet up with my 3 best friends, to go buy and listen to the new Smashing Pumpkins album, Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness. Prior to this moment, I had slowly been getting into the popular alternative music at the time, and had purchased a few albums of my own. However nothing could prepare me for the rollercoaster ride of emotion, excitement and sheer enjoyment, that would accompany the first time I sat down alone, and listened to this album from beginning to end. I had already heard some Smashing Pumpkins music prior to this experience, and I credit the song “Rhinoceros” from the EP Lull, as the moment this incredible musical journey began…I snuck into my older brothers rooms, and listened to all their CD’s, but Lull was the one that truly grabbed my attention. Despite having heard the album Siamese Dream between finding Lull, and when I first listened to Mellon Collie, it just didn’t have the same effect on me at the time, that Mellon Collie did. Every last second of the 28 track, 120+ minute experience of Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness, opened up places inside my heart and mind that I never knew existed, and began healing my aching heart, mind and soul. It may all sound silly, or crazy, but this album absolutely saved my life, and kept me afloat in the darkest most depressing times of my teenage years. But it hasn’t stopped there. For 25 years, this album, and the band behind it, have been a beacon of joy, light, and love for me and many others, some of which I’ve been privileged to get to know. Now, on October 24th, 2020, as a 38 year old (wondering where all the time has gone), and in the midst of many unexpected struggles and challenges that pull at me daily. I not only have the music of the past to inspire and uplift me, but also new music coming soon, and there are many things planned for the future…on Thursday, it was announced that the Smashing Pumpkins are currently working on a 33 track sequel to both the album Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness, as well as a follow up album, called Machina. In addition, there’s a new 20 track album being released on November 27th, titled CYR. As well as multiple other massive projects, including huge plans for arena style touring as soon as possible, and plans to release an endless collection of tracks from their huge archive of unreleased music. It’s all almost too good to be true, but it is true, and this has been the story of my SP journey from the beginning. It’s changed my life, altered the path I was on more than a couple times, and completely saved me from the frustrations and unhappiness, that have plagued me throughout my life. So today, on the 25th anniversary of such an iconic album, I am not only happy to have survived this journey, but to have reaped so much from something that is seemingly insignificant to others. This music has always been my guide, and all the good that’s happened to me because of it, is all thanks to God, who clearly works in mysterious ways. I don’t know the full story now, and I don’t need to, but what I do know is that the Smashing Pumpkins and their music, have been the greatest thing to ever happen to me. Without them, and what they’ve done, I wouldn’t have made it through my teenage years, I wouldn’t be happily married today, and I wouldn’t have the strength to get through the moments where everything seems to be caving in. As I listen to these 28 tracks again, I can’t help but feel a sense of appreciation and pure joy, in knowing that the story continues, and even if it were to end today, it has been an absolutely incredible journey that I will never forget.

Your innocence is treasure; your innocence is death.

Nick REDLANDS, US

The album had been out for almost a year. I walked over to Tower Records on my 18th birthday and bought the record with my birthday money. When I listened to it, I realized that everything I had felt for all of high school was on this album. Happy, sad, angry, hopeful, despairing, romantic. Anxiety over my friend’s suicidal depression (she’s still alive). Anxiety over my parents’ impeding divorce (they’re still together). My own fears about what to do with my life. It was all in the album, and I didn’t feel as alone anymore. I still don’t b/c of MCIS

Turning point soundtrack

Juan Zaragoza, ES

I was living through a mild rough turning point in my standard life. I decided to go to Edinburgh, Scotland, for a few months and then to Glasgow for a year. I met a new friend who introduced me to MCIS and I loved it ever since. My all-time favourite album, a masterpiece which talked to me about happiness, pain, life and death. I changed, the music helped me feel while changing, and I became new and better. Thanks, Julie.

Tonight, Tonight

Becky Manahawkin, NJ, US

I saw the Tonight, Tonight video when I was in 6th grade (1996) and I immediately fell in love with Billy Corgan’s voice and the style of the video. I just had to hear more. My first real music purchase was MCIS. I spent hours printing out SP pictures that I hung up all over my room and listened to MCIS on loop in my CD player pretty much every day. I have never not loved SP and FINALLY got to see them in concert in 2018.

The Wedding

Jill and Wayne South Carolina, US

We were married in 1999. We are both very connected to this life by lyrics and music and we found that “Tonight, Tonight” was just perfect for us. Even the video spoke to our story. So, we played it through a small stereo at our ceremony.

”Believe in me, like I believe in you.”

We’ve played it every year on our anniversary for the last 21 years.

Side note:The year after we married, what we consider the companion track to our life in love soundtrack – “Stand Inside Your Love” was released. Where “Tonight..” lifted us up, “Stand..” solidified our deep love and passion. Billy may have had his reasons and his own stories to shape these songs. The greatness of it all is that his emotion and willingness to expose feeling, lyrically and musically, is adaptable by anyone who hears music with their whole heart like we do. For that we owe him a debt of gratitude.

Thank you, from our hearts.

SPs

James Edinburgh, GB

My introduction to Smashing Pumpkins was Rotten Apples. I unknowingly bought the cd on the morning of the day that my dad died when I was 14. Strangely that night I put the cd on and managed to go straight to sleep listening to it and felt weirdly comfortable with the whole situation. Played it alot over following weeks and obviously led me into the albums, especially Melon Collie.

Last week my first child was born and 1979 came on the birthing playlist I had made for my partner just after the wee man busted out. It was on shuffle. I know this was just coincidence but it was a nice thing to happen.

Border Collie

Pablo Veríssimo Dávila Sanches Taquara, Rio Grande do Sul, BR

I remember I was 13 years old, it was 2011. My mother divorced and my abusive step dad finally disappeared. But then I had to leave and live with my dad and abusive step mom in Brasília. I didn’t knew anyone and my accent was too different, so music and playing strat were my only friends for a really long time. I downloaded Mellon Collie in a dinosaur website with few albums that this guy had and was sharing. I had no computer of my own so I always had to put them straight into those small MP3/Pen drive so when I realized it was a double LP Smashing Pumpkins album I was feeling like that was too much. But I loved every single song. Few years later my mom told me that she used to listened to this album back in the time I was inside her belly, when she was pregnant. Today I practice some of the songs, Ode to No One, Jelly belly, Tales of a Scorched Earth, Where Boys are Fear to Tread, Bodies…

Zero

Crystal Pittsburgh, PA, US

I remember watching MTV and that is when I first saw it. I was already at 10 years old a fan of the band from hearing them on the radio. At 12 years old, that is when I first saw the video for Bullet with Butterfly wings. I feel like that was when everything change. I understood music and the visual as a medium. Billy spinning around with Zero in silver with the silver pants. I felt like it molded my 12 year old brain. That Christmas with the money I got, I had my grandmother take me to buy Mellon Collie and the Infinite Saddness the next day. It was the first CD I bought for myself. Open it up and you had two full albums of the most beautiful art that you have ever seen or heard. I truly believe the album helped shaped and molded me into a person that seems multidimensional.

Transformative Years

Spencer Folkerts Fort Wayne, IN, US

Your Senior year in high school is full of emotions and trying to figure out what’s next. My best friend Darren’s basement is where we listened to music and played CD roulette where we had to guess there artist, song title. I remember studying the MCIS booklet, reading the lyrics like poetry. The SP tour came to my city of Fort Wayne, IN. My friends from high school reunited from college for an epic show. I had to save my friend Heather from being pinned between several big guys and we sat on the edge taking in the rest of show. MCIS guided me through several relationships, being on my own in college. This was my look in college, SP shirts with flannel. The variety of music, each song playing like a movie, pure poetry and power is what keeps me listening to this album to this day.

Lost but not forgotten

Michael Bettegnies Indianapolis, IN, US

In high-school I got bullied so much I hurt myself i tried to die 4 times my mom who is 52 now showed me this album when I was 5 and going into high-school I started using your music to block out all the bad things you and the band and music saved me I wouldn’t be here without it. This album got me off heroin and let start a life with 2 beautiful daughters

Midnight release

Adrian Albuquerque , US

The release night I was thinking. Okay, leave my place before midnight and pick up MCIS and some pizza provided from the local radio station at Best Buy and come back home.

But my friend calls me up and says let’s go pick up the album together. I said okay. He swung on by and we grabbed each our copy. Then we left. We decided let’s drive to Santa Fe to listen to it. We did. The first disc played the way there. We got coffee at a gas station and played the 2nd disc on the was back to ABQ.

Changing of the guard

Robert Pa, US

I beg my friend to go see the Smashing Pumpkins. As soon as the hit the stage I new there was something different!!! Coming from the 80s with all the hair band music there was something different. I was lucky enough to see Alice Chains open for Van Halen and people were Booing !!! They new bands did not give a fuck!!! The rest is history!!! Hair bands dried up over night!!

Melancholy Devin

Jess Horton Morganton, US

Listening to MCIS always takes me back to such a magical time. I always use to listen to Tonight, Tonight with my best friend Devin. Unfortunately Devin passed away in a car accident. To this day whenever I hear anything from the album…it takes me back to the nostalgia of 90s & Devin. I instantly smile & sing along just like I did in my youth.

Broken leg, lots of MTV and finding the musical love of my life

Lucas Chicago, IL, US

The year was 1996, the month was February. My buddy and I were were walking to high school (Sophomore year) and we were hit by a car. I broke my leg, just above my knee, and ended up in a cast for 7 weeks. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching MTV. I was already pretty deep into music at the time, but hadn’t given the mighty SP much love to that point, then this video came on for a song called 1979 that turned my world upside down. I taped it on VHS and watched it repeatedly. I asked my dad to buy me the CD single, as he often did when I asked him to. He worked as a security guard at the local shopping mall and was able to snag me a copy from Musicland. I listened to that single non-stop for a week with Set the Ray to Jerry quickly becoming a favorite. I asked that my dad go out and buy MCIS the following week and he obliged. I listened to it constantly and was hooked from those opening piano notes on disc 1. I went to my first SP show with my dad 10/25/96 and have seen them many many times since, but MCIS is what got me hooked. Fantastic album, fantastic band, fantastic memories. Thank you Smashing Pumpkins!

Arabian Desert Sadness

Pips CA, US

I was just an 11 year old kid living in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia when Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness came out. I remember asking my parents to buy it for me and when I got home and played the tape, I was convinced that this was the most beautiful piece of art that I’ve ever heard. After the instrumentals of track 1 then “tonight, tonight” came on, it was the first time in my life that I listened to a song again after the first listen. I had to rewind the tape again and thus cementing “tonight, tonight” as my favorite song of all time. Thank you!

Smashing Pumpkins: Why I’m still alive at 42

Mone't Ha-Sidi Sacramento, CA, US

I was 18 years old, a Black Girl, depressed, and alienated. I saved my paychecks from Chuck-E-Cheese to buy a ticket for the MCIS show in Sac. I was in the 27th row and alone, but excited to see my favorite band for the first time. Today I have 37 SP, tattoos, including ALL the MCIS lyric booklet symbols, and Love is Suicide.

Growing up with MCIS

Evan Palmatier New York, US

I remember the first time I heard the smashing pumpkins. I was no older than 10. My dad had put in his MCIS CD in while we’re on a little “road trip” for his work. He skipped right to Bullet with Butterfly Wings, and from that moment on I felt my life had changed. Going on as I grew older I would listen to SP a lot, most importantly in my late teen years going through a lot of depression. Where SP and MCIS helped me the most though was in may of this year when I was fresh out of liver transplant and was all alone in my hospital room, I’d put my headphones in and jam out all night until I fell asleep THANK YOU SP!!

25 Years of Infinite Fandom

Chelsi Schriver West Sacramento, CA, US

This record has been the catalyst to so many important moments of my life. As my introduction to The Mighty SP in 1996, it opened my eyes to all of the wondrous and magical butterfly effects that loving a band, and so many pieces of music with all your heart, can evoke. From making lifelong friends, to cross-country travel, and getting deeply lost in ephemeral sonic moments you wish could last forever, it’s *all* because of MCIS.

Smashing Pumpkins - Memories!