Despite all the memories

Josh Odd Bloomington, MN, US

This piece was inspired by Bullet with Butterfly Wings. Billy said that great music crosses genres to people the same thing applies to visual art. The Mellon Collie album was a great soundtrack that continues to be a great album for Generation X to the rise of millennials like myself. Despite the song being a joke, it makes me think of just how time affects society, art, and death.

Love is Suicide

Christian San Diego, California , US

I remember screaming Bodies at the top of my lungs after a terrible breakup…it was my favorite song at the time, as was XYU.  I was in my car and had MCIS in my CD player and I couldn’t stop listening to it. As a matter of fact, I just relistened to it as I haven’t heard it in a long time.  That song allowed me to get out all of the anger I felt at the time. My Lady and I are currently having troubles, it’s definitely not fun…Bodies is the first thing that popped into my head…been there, done that…although it’s not from MCIS, it reminds me of Behold! The Nightmare from Adore. As a visual artist, I had created a beautiful drawing of that song and how I felt at the time…Where the Willows weep and the Whirlpools sleep You’ll find Me…I was sitting under a willow, rose in hand…I cant go on digging roses from your grave.  And the Nightmare Rides On…As always, Thank You for the music, you’ve been the soundtrack to my life.

Connection

Sylvaindt CA

One of the first albums I ever bought. Cassette. 20 years later I got the deluxe edition. CD. Lonely night in I was listening to it and made an online post. That shot of the box set grabbed the attention of one who would eventually be my wife five years later.

Long-Distance Relationship

Rich S. US

My girlfriend gave me MCIS for our first Valentine’s Day. We were dating from different colleges 6.5 hours apart. I would rock out to MCIS every road trip to visit her in my 1986 Dodge Omni with the portable CD player plugged into the tape deck. We have now been married 20 years and have 3 kids, and the songs from MCIS are still in my main playlist.

“You made it Last Forever! You!”

Jack Comeau Parkersburg, WV, US

And you truly have! Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness is among one of the best albums of all time! I remember as a youngling listening to the mainstream tracks off this album and Being totally in awe of them. I then would eventually decide to purchase the album in its entirety on CD, and man has it been a blast! Each song, each lyric, each note spoke to me and touched my heart. The sheer brilliance that this album contains is unmeasurable to any other! The way that each song bears it own meaning and feeling brings this album the most enjoyment and prosperity than any in any musical act! The gritty and angst driven songs like “Zero” and “X.Y.U” helped me through anger and pain of my life As well as the other melloncollich tracks like “To Forgive” and “in the arms of sleep”. But mostly the sad but feel good tracks like “tonight, tonight” “1979” and “thirty three” are the ones that stand out the most! I’ve gone through hell and back with record! And it’s done one hell of a good job keeping me alive! Billy’s amazing input on this record was outstanding! This album in general and Billy’s guitar work really rooted my love for music and inspired me to learn how to play the guitar! Billy, the pumpkins, and most importantly, this album, will always have a special place in my heart! Thank you!

Poetry

Camila Espel Cuba Buenos aires, AR

MCIS reminds me that sadness will brings poetry. My memory of this album is that you have to accept your feelings to know you and then you can reborn, but first you have to feel and also love your sadness, appreciate it. I really love this album, it show me that we can create beatiful things no matter what we feel. William I love your work, always, and I really feel you in every lyric. MCIS is a poem of love and sadness, love it forever.

An Ode to Not One 💿, but two !

Chris New York , NY, US

Where to start. From hearing 1979 for the first time in MTV, to saving up enough money to buy the cd while on our 8th grade field trip to Washington DC , to coming home from school listening to each disc while poring over the liner notes 🤘 🎃

Dreams of a Senior

James Honor, MI, US

It’s funny I was just jamming In the Eyes of Ruby in my car.

Anyways, it was my routine in high school to wake up and get ready for the day. I would get on the bus and I would start playing Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness in my portable CD player. It was always a great start to my day and I do believe in the power of music to open your mind and help you learn. I graduated with honors. If the album didn’t help me learn at least it was a friend of mine on the bus! Keep making great music SP! I look forward to CYR!

Billy Corgan #1 fan

Adriano Tefel Guatemala City, GT

When I first listened to the album I  was in shock and said “This is fucking good” This album got me into alternative rock and is my favorite album

Fantastical

Brandon Pittsburgh, PA, US

One of the 1st albums I bought. Would mostly lay in my bed at night and let the discs take me on a fantastical journey. Beautiful songs knowing no emotional boundaries.

Shared oblivion

Federica sammarco Cividale del friuli, IT

Unfortunately I don’t have tangible memories. But if it was a picture, it would be of 16yo me in 2011, unrecognizable after months of chemo, staring at a wall at 3am, listening to MCIS for the first time, mesmerized as I realized that the state of oblivion and emptiness I was living in, was expressed perfectly with every word and sound from that album. Lifechanging.

A source of hope and happiness

Danielle Jorge São Paulo, BR

I was 13, things in Brazil were slow, albums would take long to arrive but I was always pending of the radio to get to record “Tonight tonight”. I rewinded that tape until I got to sing by ear, for me, this song was a source of hope and happiness, it played a key role for me to endure my problematic environment. I was constantly being criticized for my tastes, opinions and style. One year later I had my first job and saved to buy the album. The lyrics were a key for my English learning, I’d sing the whole album once a week at least and translate the lyrics with a paper dictionary. I enjoyed “Farewell and Goodnight” as if were you in person talking to me. Smashing Pumpkins where the only band I was really devoted, I bought all albums I could land my hands on and I got to watch you years ago in Barcelona. Thanks forever, today I am happily living in London and wished to watch you playing again!!!

I got the album before release day.

Philip J Jenks, OK, US

I went to a record store the day before the album was to release. They had it on display behind the sales counter and I asked if I could see it. The sales person handed it to me and asked if I wanted to buy it and I excitedly said yes. He rang me up in a way so it didn’t read as a sale of the album so he didn’t get in trouble. I went to my car popped in the first cd and the rest is history. My all time favorite SP album.

96 and the height of 90’s music…

Ian Middle of, Michigan, US

Lifelong fan. I saw the first show of the North American leg of this tour in Saginaw Michigan. I cried. I was 16 years old and as the captain of my high school’s marching band drum line, I wrote several drum series’ and cadences that were direct ripoffs of jimmy chamberlin’s drum parts. The drumline still played those sequences for years after I graduated, and to this day I don’t believe that anyone involved realized this that they were marching around a football field playing a tune called “fuck you (an ode to no one)”

From Dawn ‘Till Starlight

Pete Chicago, US

Using lyrics from the album, I arranged lines to create what 13 year old me believed was a coherent piece, telling the story of a single day, broken into 4 parts of a day.  I fancied it up with some of my friend’s artwork and mailed it off to the official fan mail address!

To Fall in Love with Mellon Collie

Britta Visser Stumpp Ogden, US

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness are significant for a handful of reasons for me.

It was the first CD that I ever owned after my Dad upgraded my tape deck to a CD player in my car when I was 16. I got Mellon Collie for Christmas and I remember feeling really pissed because I was like, “What the hell guys? You know I only have a tape deck!” Then I went out to my car and my Dad had installed a new CD player for me over night 😊

Second, it was the CD I listened to repeatedly while I was dating the first guy I ever fell in love with. To this day, ANY time I listen to Thirty-three or In the Arms of Sleep, it reminds me of him. Long walks in a snow laden forest at night, making out near a fire, holding hands in the car. I had my first orgasm listening to this album.

Third, it was the particular favorite of one of my best friends who later died. So when I reminisce about him, I think of Mellon Collie and vice versa.

Fourth, it is irrevocably tied to my youth. When I’m feeling super heavy on the nostalgia, I listen to Tonight, Tonight or Zero. Hands down, the most complex album of my generation. Forever and ever adore.

Tour Shirt

Slim Cable, WI, US

The Bullet… video started it all. I learned guitar because of the song. I begged to go to the tour but instead my cousin picked me up a t-shirt which had the hookah scene on the front and the skull and crossbones on the back. My mother was mortified. My best friend would let me borrow the Twilight disc and I listened non-stop.

What started the bond between my mom and me

Casey Podoll Altus, ok, US

Here is my mellon collie and the infinite sadness story… My mom took me to my very first concert, you guys, back in 1997. You guys opened with mellon collie and the infinite sadness. My mom fell in love with you. You became a link between the two of us. We bonded over you. She tragically and suddenly died. At her funeral, I picked that song to be the first one played. And when I gave her eulogy, that memory of her and I going to your concert was talked about and everybody giggled. You guys will always hold a special spot in my heart for that.

School party

José Moura Oporto, PT

We used to do music parties in our school, to raise money for our class summer trip. First time listening to Smashing Pumpkins was in that 30 second sickness entry of Bullet with butterfly winds. It escalated from there. Just start dancing my heads out in that big room, full with crewmates, felling that strob light hitting my eyes, and that big disco ball with colourful reflection all over the sweety room. I’m almost 40, and I was in high school. Thanks for getting me old and healthy.

The Realm of Soft Dillusions

Talon Jones Clarksville, US

It was the summer of 2014 it was a strange and sad time. I was 16, learning to drive, and felt a disconnect to my friends at the time. I was a big Kiss fan but their music wasnt what I needed at that time then I remember hearing songs like bullet with butterfly wings on the radio and that summed it up. So I looked up up on youtube and heard on repeat but I needed more and saw people say kind words about the mellon collie album. I found the full version on youtube and every day for the rest of that summer I’d listen through that album over and over, I’d even fall asleep to it. I discovered it at a time when I really needed it, this guy Billy Corgan sang about how I felt with the anger, the saddness, and the hope for something beautiful. I fell in love with James’ psychedelic guitar, Jimmy’s intense drumming and, and d’arcy’s catchy bass playing which inspired me to play bass. The album saved me and have sence collected it and every other smashing pumpkins album. I love them all but Mellon Collie and the Infinite Saddness will always hold the biggest place in my heart as my favorite album in the history of music. Billy an co. Could make the next led zeppelin 4 and I’d still mellon collie as my favorite because it lead my down the rabit whole of my favorite band of all time and came to me at a time when I really needed it. Thank you Smashing pumpkins for saving my life with such a beautiful album.

Last Gift from My Little Brother Matthew

Anthony Fenech Dallas, TX, US

My little brother Matt away passed in Feb of 96. I was in Airborne school at the time and did not make it for Christmas of 95. He introduced me to your band’s music. I still have the CD today. It was last Christmas gift he got me. It is still one my favorite albums of all time. Any time I hear your music it reminds of him. Thank you for that.

Wedding Song

Lindsay Tasmania, AU

11/11/11 @ 11:11. That is the date and time that I married my husband. I walked down the aisle to Thru Eyes of Ruby.

Sad Reflection

James Greer, SC, US

December 1995. My first love and her mom bought me the album. Infinitely sad looking back. 😔

High School Me

Nick Urzua Rosemead, California, US

My senior year of high school, after every XC practices I would listen to MCIS in it’s entirety. It was a huge part of my formative years. Infant wait to get a MCIS tattoo

Frat Parties and Ringtones

Makenzie Missoula, MT, US

One time, in the fall of 2016 my friend Bailey and I had our first interaction. We had both just moved to Missoula, Montana to start our freshman year of college. As most know, freshman year of college is full of interactions and self exploration. Not fully understanding life without your parents, not knowing who you are- but full of ideas of who you want to be. For both Bailey and I, music was one of the ways we knew how to express ourselves. The night we met, there was a themed party at one of the fraternities. We were both young women with no idea what we were doing in the world. Obviously, we were attending frat parties. We were sitting on a couch in the basement, getting to know each other. We were on a first name basis and my phone rang. The ringtone at the time was “1979” off of MCIS Bailey looked up at me, and just yelled “Smashing Pumpkins? I love that song!” From there, we started one of the most beautiful friendships I could dream of. When you’re young- especially your late teens/early 20’s life can seem so cruel and confusing. Having friends to be there for you, friends that will pick you up when you’re down, friends to tell you to give up on something when it is no longer serving you, are so important. That is what Bailey and I are to each other. Wherever we go in life, we will always have a strong connection. We will always remember our bond through the matching “1979” tattoos we gave each other. 

I thank the brains of the Smashing Pumpkins band members for composing this song, and for forever being a band to hold near to our hearts.

Memories Of My Mom

Jennifer Sperling Lake Worth, US

My mom and I used to listen to the album together all the time. I remember my mom singing along and dancing to it. We got to see them live and it was an amazing show. Every time I listen to the songs, I think of her and the good times we shared. She sadly passed in 2016 at age 60 from complications of Alzheimer’s.  But every time I hear their music especially from that album, I smile and think of her.