To Fall in Love with Mellon Collie

Britta Visser Stumpp Ogden, US

Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness are significant for a handful of reasons for me.

It was the first CD that I ever owned after my Dad upgraded my tape deck to a CD player in my car when I was 16. I got Mellon Collie for Christmas and I remember feeling really pissed because I was like, “What the hell guys? You know I only have a tape deck!” Then I went out to my car and my Dad had installed a new CD player for me over night 😊

Second, it was the CD I listened to repeatedly while I was dating the first guy I ever fell in love with. To this day, ANY time I listen to Thirty-three or In the Arms of Sleep, it reminds me of him. Long walks in a snow laden forest at night, making out near a fire, holding hands in the car. I had my first orgasm listening to this album.

Third, it was the particular favorite of one of my best friends who later died. So when I reminisce about him, I think of Mellon Collie and vice versa.

Fourth, it is irrevocably tied to my youth. When I’m feeling super heavy on the nostalgia, I listen to Tonight, Tonight or Zero. Hands down, the most complex album of my generation. Forever and ever adore.

Tour Shirt

Slim Cable, WI, US

The Bullet… video started it all. I learned guitar because of the song. I begged to go to the tour but instead my cousin picked me up a t-shirt which had the hookah scene on the front and the skull and crossbones on the back. My mother was mortified. My best friend would let me borrow the Twilight disc and I listened non-stop.

What started the bond between my mom and me

Casey Podoll Altus, ok, US

Here is my mellon collie and the infinite sadness story… My mom took me to my very first concert, you guys, back in 1997. You guys opened with mellon collie and the infinite sadness. My mom fell in love with you. You became a link between the two of us. We bonded over you. She tragically and suddenly died. At her funeral, I picked that song to be the first one played. And when I gave her eulogy, that memory of her and I going to your concert was talked about and everybody giggled. You guys will always hold a special spot in my heart for that.

School party

José Moura Oporto, PT

We used to do music parties in our school, to raise money for our class summer trip. First time listening to Smashing Pumpkins was in that 30 second sickness entry of Bullet with butterfly winds. It escalated from there. Just start dancing my heads out in that big room, full with crewmates, felling that strob light hitting my eyes, and that big disco ball with colourful reflection all over the sweety room. I’m almost 40, and I was in high school. Thanks for getting me old and healthy.

The Realm of Soft Dillusions

Talon Jones Clarksville, US

It was the summer of 2014 it was a strange and sad time. I was 16, learning to drive, and felt a disconnect to my friends at the time. I was a big Kiss fan but their music wasnt what I needed at that time then I remember hearing songs like bullet with butterfly wings on the radio and that summed it up. So I looked up up on youtube and heard on repeat but I needed more and saw people say kind words about the mellon collie album. I found the full version on youtube and every day for the rest of that summer I’d listen through that album over and over, I’d even fall asleep to it. I discovered it at a time when I really needed it, this guy Billy Corgan sang about how I felt with the anger, the saddness, and the hope for something beautiful. I fell in love with James’ psychedelic guitar, Jimmy’s intense drumming and, and d’arcy’s catchy bass playing which inspired me to play bass. The album saved me and have sence collected it and every other smashing pumpkins album. I love them all but Mellon Collie and the Infinite Saddness will always hold the biggest place in my heart as my favorite album in the history of music. Billy an co. Could make the next led zeppelin 4 and I’d still mellon collie as my favorite because it lead my down the rabit whole of my favorite band of all time and came to me at a time when I really needed it. Thank you Smashing pumpkins for saving my life with such a beautiful album.

Last Gift from My Little Brother Matthew

Anthony Fenech Dallas, TX, US

My little brother Matt away passed in Feb of 96. I was in Airborne school at the time and did not make it for Christmas of 95. He introduced me to your band’s music. I still have the CD today. It was last Christmas gift he got me. It is still one my favorite albums of all time. Any time I hear your music it reminds of him. Thank you for that.

Wedding Song

Lindsay Tasmania, AU

11/11/11 @ 11:11. That is the date and time that I married my husband. I walked down the aisle to Thru Eyes of Ruby.

Sad Reflection

James Greer, SC, US

December 1995. My first love and her mom bought me the album. Infinitely sad looking back. 😔

High School Me

Nick Urzua Rosemead, California, US

My senior year of high school, after every XC practices I would listen to MCIS in it’s entirety. It was a huge part of my formative years. Infant wait to get a MCIS tattoo

Frat Parties and Ringtones

Makenzie Missoula, MT, US

One time, in the fall of 2016 my friend Bailey and I had our first interaction. We had both just moved to Missoula, Montana to start our freshman year of college. As most know, freshman year of college is full of interactions and self exploration. Not fully understanding life without your parents, not knowing who you are- but full of ideas of who you want to be. For both Bailey and I, music was one of the ways we knew how to express ourselves. The night we met, there was a themed party at one of the fraternities. We were both young women with no idea what we were doing in the world. Obviously, we were attending frat parties. We were sitting on a couch in the basement, getting to know each other. We were on a first name basis and my phone rang. The ringtone at the time was “1979” off of MCIS Bailey looked up at me, and just yelled “Smashing Pumpkins? I love that song!” From there, we started one of the most beautiful friendships I could dream of. When you’re young- especially your late teens/early 20’s life can seem so cruel and confusing. Having friends to be there for you, friends that will pick you up when you’re down, friends to tell you to give up on something when it is no longer serving you, are so important. That is what Bailey and I are to each other. Wherever we go in life, we will always have a strong connection. We will always remember our bond through the matching “1979” tattoos we gave each other. 

I thank the brains of the Smashing Pumpkins band members for composing this song, and for forever being a band to hold near to our hearts.

Memories Of My Mom

Jennifer Sperling Lake Worth, US

My mom and I used to listen to the album together all the time. I remember my mom singing along and dancing to it. We got to see them live and it was an amazing show. Every time I listen to the songs, I think of her and the good times we shared. She sadly passed in 2016 at age 60 from complications of Alzheimer’s.  But every time I hear their music especially from that album, I smile and think of her.

Serenading a Soldier farewell

Beth Shaw Fairfax, VA, US

This is not my memory but one of which I am the custodian. As SGT Michael C. Hardegree welcomed his first niece, Lilly, he soon found a new comfort in the MCIS track of the same name. As he fell asleep in Baghdad, MCIS would serenade him. When he closed his eyes for the last time on September 10, 2007, in his final weeks in theater, MCIS was found in his uniform with MCIS on shuffle. To this day, Lily is such an important piece of my grief journey as it, too, serenades me through a personal and fragile connection to my brother. 

May the king of gloom be forever doomed

Allex Curitiba, PR, BR, BR

MCis is one of my favourite albums and I listen to it quite often. 

Some time ago I met this girl but things didn’t work out as I would like and we split up. The lyrics of 1979 (cool kids never have the time/on a live wire right up off the street/you and I should meet) and Bodies (the lonely nights divide you in two) never made so much sense as now. 

A well-loved friend..

Rach Melbourne, Victoria, AU

I was about 13 when I became properly aware of the Smashing Pumpkins. MCIS was the first album I bought with my own money, and It would go with me everywhere. It felt like my first real development in my musical choices that was my own, and I will always cherish it. A well-loved friend. Thanks SP xx

Bullet With Matterhorn Wings

Dan Kosub Toronto, CA

I have countless memories associated with this record, however here is one:

Shortly after the album was released, my family of ten got the flight day wrong for our trip to Disneyland and in my angst on the home from the airport I listened to Bullet on repeat as nauseum to excersise my lack-of-Disney demons. I shared the song with my family and they all appreciated it. We got rescheduled and all was well.

My One and Only

Madison Vallejos Goodyear, AZ, US

First was exposed to SP by playing Cherub Rock on rock band as a kid. Soon discovered Mellon Collie and instantly fell in love. When I think of MCIS, it reminds me of when I listened to it everyday to and from my long commute to work. Having recently gotten married, it was on my wedding playlist and was listened to throughout my honeymoon. Now hearing it fills me with even more love. SP has become my favorite band and I love making fan art of them. Happy anniversary to one of the best albums of all time!

We only come out at night

Brandon willoughby Kansas City , mo, US

Sophomore year I have grandma pick me up at school I’m sick or so I say . We go to Kmart Behold Mellon Collie is out grandma is persuaded to buy a double disc I think for like 24$ The album sums up my childhood -my adolescent misfit teens. I was a 16 year old drug addict who loved the mayhem of tales of scorched earth the tenderness of the title track and cried To myself listening to in the arms of sleep or to forgive. The album is so full of riff awesomeness I still listen to it and inspire myself to write and be creative.  It brings the feelings I had then to the forefront it’s better than a yearbook signed from all your friends. One of the older kids I knew borrows the second disc he didn’t return it fast so I was stuck with just side one for a month. I got disc 2 back and it is still my favorite side of the album. I remember thinking with all the night imagery  and the way Corgan started looking in the Zero video and certain articles around that time thinking maybe they were Vampires. I was of course an impressionable kid with a drug problem. It didn’t straighten my path but it was along for the ride.  I had a band and we got tickets for the tour and our favorite drummer gets kicked out and we have to wait for them to return with Filters drummer who was good but just not Jimmy.  We still debate what Billy said at the concert during Silverfuck about his album came out called Bleach . I think he was on a anti -Courtney speech and they brought the dude from the Frogs .Come Christmas we get the Aeroplane flies high boxset both me and my best friend. I  still have both the album and box set. The boxset will be buried with me. That’s how much it means to me. More than a hug more than any drug that album has held me in its soundscape  for so many years. The pace And quantity in which Billy was writing just shows he was an antenna for something to channel through him and I’m eternally thankful!!

Tonight, Tonight

Adam Felbel Winnipeg, MB, CA

I was 9 years old when this album came out. I remember watching the music video for Tonight, Tonight over and over again on Much Music. I fell in love with that song and this album means a lot to me and my childhood. Thank you so much SP. 

Born Around The Album Release

Christian Houston, TX, US

I was born on October 21st, 1995. And while I wasn’t born exactly on the very date that the album came out, I always felt like I had a strong connection to the album and the band knowing it came out around the time I was born. This album hits every emotion, and it slid why it has always been a favorite of mine since.

Mellon Collie = Marriage

Ursula Puglia Hillsborough, NJ, US

20 year old me fell in love with 18 year old Pete and I bought him the Mellon Collie cassette tape at Sam Goody.  Pete didn’t return the intensity of my affection and after a couple of years of on & off dates and friendship, we parted ways.  Fast forward, 2006.  He finds me on Myspace.  He’d seen 50+ Pumpkins concerts and gotten 4 SP tattoos during our time apart.  We fell madly in love and got married.  I then gifted him an original Mellon Collie vinyl as a symbol of our destiny.  His greatest loves are me, our children and Smashing Pumpkins, and it all began at a Sam Goody record store in 1995.  Without Mellon Collie there would be no “us”.

Galapogos

Joel Winnipeg, CA

Galapogos has been part of my set lists since I was a teenager and one of the first times my future wife heard me perform, it was Galapogos that becabe one her favourite covers of mine. I just turned 36 and for birthday my wife got me MCIS on vinyl and we listened to the whole album that night and sang Galapogos together. 

Room decor

Jenny Southampton, England, GB

I was 11 when this album came out and I got the cassette as a Christmas present from my brother who was 16 at the time.  I loved the style of the sleeve so much that when my room was redecorated, I had it done with the same colours and style as the cassette cover!  I also loved the songs and am not sure that my parents would have let me listen to it had they known what some of the songs contained!😂. Great album and I’m amazed at where my life was and where I am now doing missionary work!  Saw the band at Wembley stadium in 2000, it was gooooood! 

My infinite happiness

John Swanepoel Cape town, ZA

I was 13/14 years old, learning about who i am, and the pumpkins were the voice that guided me through so many different emotions. I’m 38 and every time I hear this album, I’m back to being that age and remembering those emotions. 

Gateway

Richard Neihardt Kingsley, MI, US

This was the first CD I ever owned.  I was 9 and bought it with my saved allowance money.  The lines ” Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage” put into words feelings I couldn’t yet articulate.  Billy’s vocally acrobatic turn into screaming the word “…cage…” was the heaviest thing I had ever heard and it still blows my mind.  The album will forever hold a special place in my heart as I have early memories where I remember the exact song and what I was doing while it was playing.  Thank you all for creating something that serves as both a gateway to the bridge where my childhood remains and one that opened the pathway into musical exploration.

Daughter

Travis Fredericton, CA

As a teenager, I discovered Smashing Pumpkins (specifically Mellon Collie) through an unlikely source Weird Al Yankovic.  As an angsty teen, the lyrics, “Despite all my rage…” hit home and I bought the album right away and became a life long Pumpkins fan.  Mellon Collie, has gotten me through a lot of rough times. The most painful was losing custody of my daughter after a bad break up. I listened to a lot of pumpkins to get me through it. Fast forward to her teenage years and I tried and tried to get her to listen to the Pumpkins to no avail. She did agree to drive 15 hours to go see them live in Toronto with me which shocked me. Something about the road trip, the live music was a bonding process for us. I thought about this and was so thankful for the Pumpkins and their music that I put together a video celebrating our relationship which I showed her on her birthday. Thank you for your music. 

Travis, a fan.

MCIS In the Womb

Brittany Tuckett (Rogowski) Lindon, UT, US

MCIS has had a profound impact on my life. In fact, I quite literally have never known a life without it. My dad was a massive Pumpkins fan, and MCIS was his favorite. When my mom was pregnant with me, he’d put headphones on her belly, and play MCIS for me. I’d always move around, and start reacting to the music.

Once I was born, my dad would rock me to sleep, and sing “Farewell and Goodnight to me.” As I got older, I continued to listen to the softer songs from MCIS, to fall asleep to. I often still can’t fall asleep without them.

Unfortunately, I lost my dad to suicide when I was 17. He left behind for me his entire Smashing Pumpkins collection, along with a mixed CD he created, as his final goodbye to me. The first song on the CD, is “Farewell
and Goodnight.”

MCIS has been there for me through the great, the bad, and the really ugly. It’s been the one constant I’ve always been able to hold onto, no matter what I’ve had to face in this life.

Cheers, MCIS! Happy 25^th Anniversary to the album that started it all for me.