Right around the time MCIS came out, I found out I was pregnant. I was 17, a senior in high school, alone, afraid, and in tremendous pain. Seven months later, my son was born, but he was not alive. I listened to MCIS incessantly at this time. In Porcelina, Billy sings, “It’s all alright.” I named my son Nigel Corgan Shaw. Thank you, Smashing Pumpkins, for being there for me.