I didn’t know who I was. I had inklings. Ideas. Feelings. And then it happened. It wasn’t until I picked up Smashing Pumpkins/Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness double disc set from Meijer on Alpine in 1995, in sixth grade, that I ever felt ‘connected’ in a real, fucking raw way to any musician or song. My love, my anger, my passion, my wonder, my questions, my suffering, my passion… it felt like I was finally able to FEEL all of those things, and connect it to music. And every emotion was captured. Every. Single. One. Emotion I didn’t realize existed. Tears- I didn’t know I needed to cry. Thoughts- I didn’t know I needed to think. Love- I didn’t know I needed to feel. Anger- I didn’t know I needed to experience. Songs- that immediately crept their fiery way into a young heart and old soul. Classical instruments gracefully danced behind luscious rocknroll rhythms, faraway feelings- driven by insane solos… lyrical brilliance… like I’d never heard and a heartfelt heaviness I’d never known- FLOODED my entire existence. I don’t know what could compare, fucking ever. I think everyone has their first kick into reality, musically, if they care enough, and this was mine. Had to get to a tattoo about it even, thank u @john.kurse Happy 25th anniversary Mellon Collie. I fucking love you. @williampcorgan @smashingpumpkins #MyFavoriteBandEver #melloncollieandtheinfinitesadness #smashingpumpkins @john.kurse