If you’re giving in, then you’re giving up

I remember being about 9 and hearing 1979 for the first time. I grew up in a fairly conservative household and my mother didn’t like me listening to mainstream music. All of the Rock / alternative / grunge bands of the early and mid 90s I had to listen to on the radio at night and record songs on a cassette tape. I remember hearing Billy corgan’s voice and thinking “he sounds so weird but I absolutely love it”. I got Melancholy and the infinite sadness for my 10th birthday and listened to it relentlessly.  Smashing pumpkins became the soundtrack to my moody teen years, painting in my room, reading, driving around. I have seen them in Boulder in 2000, at Red Rocks in 2016 and in Denver in 2018. Every time was phenomenal and buried me beneath a spectral tidal wave of sound. I am a middle-aged mom who still listens to Smashing Pumpkins while cleaning my house.