My mother showed me the Smashing Pumpkins when I was very young. I’ve been listening to the them my entire life. The first album I can consciously remember listening to was Mellon Collie and Infinite Sadness. As a kid I had this constant existential crisis going on. Why did I exist and why was I going to die. Overall I was just a melancholy kid. For some reason, when I think back on my childhood, I think of this album. Something in the words and somber tone of some of the songs makes the lonely, sad child in me feel understood. In specific I have always related to: To forgive specifically.