I would describe myself as a late bloomer when it comes to this album (and most SP albums for that matter). MCIS came out when I was in 8th grade, and I remember a lot of the hits on the radio. I took a liking to tonight, tonight at the time, but other than that, I didn’t really understand the album and kinda moved on. Fast forward to the summer of 2015, when for some reason, I just started listening to 1979. The song hit me to the core like almost nothing I have ever experience before then.
I am a firm believer that when you need it most, something will appear in your life and help guide you through tough times, and starting in 2015, MCIS was that. I dove deep into the album (an eventually Siamese Dream) and zeroed in on thirty-three. This year was probably the most difficult in my life (although, that has been eclipsed by COVID, but for very different reasons), one where I was struggling to find myself, and figure out what I wanted to do with my life and how I could become happy again.
The first time I heard thirty-three, I was in my kitchen making dinner, and froze. I froze because of the lyrics powers that described exactly how I felt at the time. I was the desolate and uncertain person described in the song, wandering through life not knowing how to progress. The song gave me hope, and something allowed me to figure out how to move forward. I decided that “I’ll make the effort” and that I “can make it last forever.” This album has bettered me, and I am so thankful that it found me when I needed it most. It still helps me stay grounded, and songs like thirty-three, 1979, and tonight, tonight, among others from the Smashing Pumpkins, continue to influence, shape, and inspire who I am today. I truly need to say THANK YOU!