Border Collie

Pablo Veríssimo Dávila Sanches Taquara, Rio Grande do Sul, BR

I remember I was 13 years old, it was 2011. My mother divorced and my abusive step dad finally disappeared. But then I had to leave and live with my dad and abusive step mom in Brasília. I didn’t knew anyone and my accent was too different, so music and playing strat were my only friends for a really long time. I downloaded Mellon Collie in a dinosaur website with few albums that this guy had and was sharing. I had no computer of my own so I always had to put them straight into those small MP3/Pen drive so when I realized it was a double LP Smashing Pumpkins album I was feeling like that was too much. But I loved every single song. Few years later my mom told me that she used to listened to this album back in the time I was inside her belly, when she was pregnant. Today I practice some of the songs, Ode to No One, Jelly belly, Tales of a Scorched Earth, Where Boys are Fear to Tread, Bodies… 


Crystal Pittsburgh, PA, US

I remember watching MTV and that is when I first saw it. I was already at 10 years old a fan of the band from hearing them on the radio. At 12 years old, that is when I first saw the video for Bullet with Butterfly wings. I feel like that was when everything change. I understood music and the visual as a medium. Billy spinning around with Zero in silver with the silver pants. I felt like it molded my 12 year old brain. That Christmas with the money I got, I had my grandmother take me to buy Mellon Collie and the Infinite Saddness the next day. It was the first CD I bought for myself. Open it up and you had two full albums of the most beautiful art that you have ever seen or heard. I truly believe the album helped shaped and molded me into a person that seems multidimensional.

First CD i ever bought ❤️

Isabel Luz PT

I remember i saved my birthday money and bought it on the summer of 1996 when i was on vacation in Oporto. Best decision i ever made, best album i could ever buy to build my music education. MCIS means a lot to me: growing pains and sweet sorrows. 

25 Years of Infinite Fandom

Chelsi Schriver West Sacramento, CA, US

This record has been the catalyst to so many important moments of my life. As my introduction to The Mighty SP in 1996, it opened my eyes to all of the wondrous and magical butterfly effects that loving a band, and so many pieces of music with all your heart, can evoke. From making lifelong friends, to cross-country travel, and getting deeply lost in ephemeral sonic moments you wish could last forever, it’s *all* because of MCIS. 

Melancholy Devin

Jess Horton Morganton, US

Listening to MCIS always takes me back to such a magical time. I always use to listen to Tonight, Tonight with my best friend Devin. Unfortunately Devin passed away in a car accident. To this day whenever I hear anything from the album…it takes me back to the nostalgia of 90s & Devin. I instantly smile & sing along just like I did in my youth. 

Proud to be me

Kenneth Houston, Texas, US

MCIS is the soundtrack of my life! I was in high school when it came out, and every memory from then til now has a song from MCIS to go with it. The music is still great and the lyrics just make me feel like I belong. Like it’s cool to be me….even if its not. Thank you for recording this and just letting me be a fan of something special. 

Growing up with MCIS

Evan Palmatier New York, US

I remember the first time I heard the smashing pumpkins. I was no older than 10. My dad had put in his MCIS CD in while we’re on a little “road trip” for his work. He skipped right to Bullet with Butterfly Wings, and from that moment on I felt my life had changed. Going on as I grew older I would listen to SP a lot, most importantly in my late teen years going through a lot of depression. Where SP and MCIS helped me the most though was in may of this year when I was fresh out of liver transplant and was all alone in my hospital room, I’d put my headphones in and jam out all night until I fell asleep THANK YOU SP!!

Mellon Collie 1996 NYC

Erek Brooklyn, NY, US

At the very beginning of the Mellon Collie tour the Pumpkins played three intimate shows at The Academy in NYC on Jan. 11th, 12th, & 13th, 1996.  I was fortunate to attend all three shows.  1st sets were primarily beautiful soft acoustic, 2nd sets were full blast electric, multiple encores.  Stage lighting and setting were simple and pure, such as the 8ft flower on the stage.  No cellphone days, crowd was fully immersed, captured by the raw power and elegance of the Pumpkins unique creative force.  For me, a true snapshot of a more simpler/innocent time, experiencing a groundbreaking band gaining momentum/notoriety that were ready to unleash a true identity body of work for the world to absorb. Pic shown is the commemorative ticket designed by James Iha.  Happy 25th Anniversary Mellon Collie!!!


Sebastian Mazo Formosa, AR

In highschool I’ve always feel weirdo… But this album made me love myself, respect myself, have dignity… Be worthy. It made me proud to be myself! Happy 25 anniversary MCIS and thank you so much Smashing Pumpkins ❤️

Broken leg, lots of MTV and finding the musical love of my life

Lucas Chicago, IL, US

The year was 1996, the month was February.  My buddy and I were were walking to high school (Sophomore year) and we were hit by a car.  I broke my leg, just above my knee, and ended up in a cast for 7 weeks.  I spent a lot of time on the couch watching MTV.  I was already pretty deep into music at the time, but hadn’t given the mighty SP much love to that point, then this video came on for a song called 1979 that turned my world upside down.  I taped it on VHS and watched it repeatedly.  I asked my dad to buy me the CD single, as he often did when I asked him to.  He worked as a security guard at the local shopping mall and was able to snag me a copy from Musicland.  I listened to that single non-stop for a week with Set the Ray to Jerry quickly becoming a favorite. I asked that my dad go out and buy MCIS the following week and he obliged. I listened to it constantly and was hooked from those opening piano notes on disc 1.  I went to my first SP show with my dad 10/25/96 and have seen them many many times since, but MCIS is what got me hooked. Fantastic album, fantastic band, fantastic memories. Thank you Smashing Pumpkins!

Arabian Desert Sadness

Pips CA, US

I was just an 11 year old kid living in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia when Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness came out. I remember asking my parents to buy it for me and when I got home and played the tape, I was convinced that this was the most beautiful piece of art that I’ve ever heard. After the instrumentals of track 1 then “tonight, tonight” came on, it was the first time in my life that I listened to a song again after the first listen. I had to rewind the tape again and thus cementing “tonight, tonight” as my favorite song of all time. Thank you!

Smashing Pumpkins: Why I’m still alive at 42

Mone't Ha-Sidi Sacramento, CA, US

I was 18 years old, a Black Girl, depressed, and alienated. I saved my paychecks from Chuck-E-Cheese to buy a ticket for the MCIS show in Sac. I was in the 27th row and alone, but excited to see my favorite band for the first time. Today I have 37 SP, tattoos, including ALL the MCIS lyric booklet symbols, and Love is Suicide.

The first time for everything

Cody Dallas , US

My sister and I skipped school for the first and only time ever! We went to I wanna say blockbuster music! We also smoked weed for the fist time! The album is a story it’s a different one for everyone if that makes sense. I wanna say we listened to it a lot and still do

Changing of the guard

Robert Pa, US

I beg my friend to go see the Smashing Pumpkins. As soon as the hit the stage I new there was something different!!! Coming from the 80s with all the hair band music there was something different. I was lucky enough to see Alice Chains open for Van Halen and people were Booing !!! They  new bands did not give a fuck!!! The rest is history!!! Hair bands dried up over night!! 

Twilight to Starlight

Matt Harrisburg, US

I remember how excited I was. I hocked a bunch of stuff to be able to afford MCIS (Weezer, MyLifewiththe), y’know, nothing important. I remember being shocked by the style of Tonight, Tonight. The sound of the record still takes me back to that time: frustration, anger, feelings of being unwanted, elation, joy, daily epiphanies. It was the new sound. I remember being excited for Flood, but longing for Butch Vig. I made me feel like I belonged. Thank you for helping to make ’95 mean something.

In faith, in compassion and in love

Ana Weissheimer Canoas, BR

I bought my album to help homeless animals in my city.
Many memories of an album and band that accompany me in happy, sad moments. And they always gave me peace

Next Generation

Robert Oa, US

I saved most of my tour shirts from the 5 shows I was able to see in Philadelphia, Pa. I figured it was time for the Next Generation to enjoy sold I sold them to Ryan, the bass player from the Kick Ass Band State Champs!!!

Greatest Album of All Time

jdodson Portland, US

MCIS is the greatest album of all time and is one of those things that you have a great relationship over the years.  Dawn to Dusk it’s a beautiful ride and one I’ll always be happy to be on from time to time.  My young son and I tried to draw it this morning and whereas it looks very embarrassing there is something quaint in trying to collaborate with a four year old as Muzzle is blazing in the background.

French Them

Leroy Luc Bastia, FR

J’ai découvert MCIS au printemps 1996, adolescent à cette époque, l’album et ses mélodies m’accompagna tout au long des chaudes nuits de cet été là, rythmant mes jours et mes nuits, mes doutes et mes faiblesses, mes humeurs et mes amours… Telle une fièvre qui monte et se répand, il contamina mes amis les plus proches, sans ne plus jamais nous quitter, aujourd’hui encore, 25 ans après l’adulte que je suis devenu ne peut plus se passer de l’écouter, de temps en temps ou plus souvent, ses textes et musiques refaisant vivre en moi ces années si loin déjà, mélancolie mêlée de tendresse et de joie. Merci pour ces 25 ans et pour les années à venir.


Pircelina and the Vast Oceans

Gary Thomoson Greensboro, NC, US

OMG…from the coattails of Siamese Dream, MellonCollie was life changing. In tears, I cried singing quietly the lyrics to Porcelina as my daughter was being born. Within weeks I put her to sleep playing that song!!! Love you guys!!! No, she wasn’t phased by the heavy part!!! 🙂

Thru the Empty Space

Poramy Phnom Penh, KH

Happy 25th birthday “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness” – Despite the lingering aura of doom and gloom, every song was underpinned by a pervasive sense of love (in all its many forms), romanticism and hope.

this record spoke to me despite it’s many forays into the realms of esoterica…it’s been the gift the keeps on giving; slowly revealing its mysteries to me from my teen age to middle age…every song a milestone, a marker, on my journey from boyhood to manhood…and beyond the beyond…”thru the empty space, thru the secret places of the heart”  🖤🖤🖤

Leaving A Piece Of Youth

Kenleigh G Asheville, NC, US

When I was younger my dad introduced me to Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. I have memories of being a small child and riding in his truck listening to songs like “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”. My dad works a lot but some of my favorite memories with him are connected to this album.

Fast forward to this year and I started college and adopted an ESA kitten, Sal,  who sadly passed away due to unknown complications. One of my last memories with him is resting in my bed with him sitting on my chest listening to “Tonight, Tonight” and him purring. Even though these things are in the past now, they shaped me into the person I am today. Thank you for being part of the journey.

The Crowning Achievement of the Four OG Band Members

Lora San Diego, CA, US

My brother and I co-purchased “MCIS” 50/50 on the night it came out, from The Wherehouse down the street from where he lived with my dad and stepmom at the time. I ended up taking the “Twilight to Starlight” (“the blue one”) home while he kept “Dawn to Dusk” (“the pink one”), which always makes the former feel like the “first” disk to me – even though that’s out of order and makes it so the title track and “Farewell and Goodnight” don’t sync up as ‘bookends’ to the album, as intended.

The band’s crowning achievement, “Mellon Collie” was the Pumpkins at the top of their game, and how Billy could write so many incredible songs and lyrics in such short period of time I still don’t understand. The uninitiated call Kurt Cobain the voice of our generation, but with all due respect and love for him, it’s ultimately Billy who spoke for us and to us through the Pumpkins’ music.

Paul and I saw SP tour “Mellon Collie” twice in 1996, at a small club and at a big arena. Years later he gave away our MCIS copy without my knowing – he backed up the files for me first – sure wish I still had our OG physical copy bought that night at the La Mesa Wherehouse.


Artemis Chicago, IL, US

In 1994, my childhood best friend and I memorized every word on the Siamese Dream album in anticipation of watching SP at Lollapalooza.   It was one of the best times of my life.  I was jealous of Heather when she was able to get James’ autograph on her ticket stub while waiting for an amusement ride.  

We devoured Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when it was released.   The video for Tonight, Tonight mesmerized us. 

In 1997, Heather passed unexpectedly. Placed by her family in the casket…her Melon Collie and the Infinite Sadness album.   That image is forever burned into my brain.

I will never forget the times we spent sitting and listening and memorizing and laughing.  Heather’s still listening with me even now, just on another plane.

A Zero in Brazil

Eddie Thomaz Dallas, TX, US

In 1994, when I was 13 years old, my family and I moved to São Paulo, Brazil. I barely spoke the language, did not know how to read or write in Portuguese and was put into public school. I did not fit in at all, people made fun of me because I was different. I felt like a complete outsider. I loved SP from the beginning of their career, their music made me feel better about myself and get through those difficult times. When MCATIS came out in 1995, CDs in Brazil, especially imports were super expensive ($40). I got a job as a waiter, it took me two months working to save up the money just to buy the album, I remember running to the cd store grabbing a copy of the album rushing home and putting it on CD 1 track 4, Zero. I must have listened to that track a thousand times, then, to my unexpected surprise, I was blown away by the rest of the album. So much diversity, complexity / simplicity, love/anger in each song, it made me feel accepted. One of my favorite memories to this day is listening to Porcelina on my headset in a beach in Brazil, up to then, I had never felt so at peace. Your music made a difference in my life. People associate your music to me, I constantly get messages, “Eddie, every time I listen to Smashing Pumpkins, I think about you”. It influenced me to become a musician. I even had the opportunity in 2010 to open a show for the Smashing Pumpkins and meet all of them in 2010. Thank you for being a part of my life. 

Pumpkin Fairies & the Silver Boots

Kara Twin Peaks, CA, US

By some stroke of crappy EarthLink internet magic I was able to book tickets to the Roxy (Los Angeles) for the Mellon Collie club tour. I was 13. My best friend and I spent a full weekend shopping for outfits and for some reason white bloomers, a doo rag and a tube top seemed like the perfect outfit. We showed up early in the morning to wait in line. Someone offered us $800 per ticket which would’ve been a real game changer for Middle-School-Me, but we stayed the course.

Some adorable girls dressed as “Pumpkin Fairies” with wings and bags filled with cutouts of rubber stamps with the SP logo and little confetti, and they threw handfuls intermittently throughout the show.

Billy, you wore knee-high silver Docs and a black skirt, and I could’ve fainted for how wonderful it was. My friend and I were positively electrified, just in ecstasy. We were such massive fans, we knew every word to every song, and the performance was the best I’ve ever seen to this day.

Afterwards I met a Jewish kid at the bus stop who was a Godsmack Roadie and they were at the Rainbow Room. We took the same bus back to Venice and he walked me home and we became very very close friends. He came in and out of my life and we had a long distance love affair years later when he was an infantryman stationed in Iraq. I moved to Texas and greeted him at the airport when he cane home from deployment and we were very in love for one Summer and then it was over. Now he’s a used Ford salesman in Arkansas and we’re both married to other people—but every time I see his pictures with his customers on his used car social media, I remember that night and your album, and I feel all warm and fuzzy about it.

Thank you for that work of art. The aesthetic made a very lasting impression on me. It will always remain my #1 album.

Infinite Gratitude

Jonathon San Diego, US

In middle/ high school I was a “fag” and a “freak”. MCIS was an album that was always there for me. It made me proud to be myself! The pumpkins will always have a special place in my heart. My high school self thanks you too. 

Best dark times

Jessica West Fields Lawndale, CA, US

I drove my mom nuts with this double album because despite her loving your music, too, I was over-playing it in that all too typical teenage depression/angst period. 

And, although I’m certainly older and feelings have sort of muted over time, I vividly remember all the intense feelings of adolescence, all with your music as quite the kick-ass backdrop. Thanks! 🙂

Falling in love with MCIS

Christian Lee Bausch Las Vegas, Nevada, US

I first heard 1979 and loved it. In High School, my film studies teacher showed the music video for Tonight, Tonight, since it was inspired by a classic film. I felt a deep emotional connection to what I saw and heard. I listened to MCIS, and it resonated with me, becoming my favorite album ever.

My Screen-name

Chris Logan, UT, US

MCIS had such an impact on me that my screen-name (that I’ve used for the past 25 years) comes from my favorite line in my favorite song on the album.


Mark Cooper St Louis, MO, US

After completing basic training at Fort Knox, KY, I was stationed at Fort Monmouth, NJ, for my AIT. It was early November, I had seen the video for “Bullet With Butterfly Wings” and was dying to get the new album. Unfortunately we were only 2 weeks into AIT and wouldn’t get an off post pass until 4 weeks. One day after lunch, myself and two of my platoon mates were hanging out in the common area with another platoon. Their Drill Sergeant entered the room. He was a menacing mass of muscles. “LISTEN UP!” he bellowed. “We’re going to do some PT, it’s not mandatory and you can stop whenever you like!” A devious smirk washed across his weathered face. “DO PUSHUPS!” Everyone dropped to the floor, full bellies groaning. “RELAX!” he called out and then almost immediately “DO PUSHUPS!” Bodies dropped to the floor again. “Remember, you can stop anytime”, he reminded us. The cycle repeated. Each time more people fell out. Until his entire platoon had stopped and only myself and my two platoon mates remained. He walked over to us, his massive feet leaving craters in the floor. “I’M IMPRESSED! YOU THREE HAVE EARNED THE REST OF THE DAY OFF AND PASSES OFF POST!” Oh my joy, my rapture! As we left the room to head for the bus station, i turned to see the Drill Sergeant, veins bulging in his neck as he addressed his soldiers. “YOU LET ANOTHER PLATOON SHOW YOU UP? DROP! THIS TIME IT IS MANDATORY!” We went to the mall, i got MCIS and listened to it on my walkman for the rest of the evening in my room. I can’t be for certain, but when I switched sides on the tape, i think i could still hear that Drill Sergeant yelling “DO PUSHUPS!” off in the distance late into the night.

Second hand smoke

Diana Ottawa, Ontario , CA

  • When we were 12, three of us bought tickets for the MCIS tour. We each told our parents that the other’s parents would accompany us to the concert. We were in the nose bleed section and there were people smoking weed in front of us. At one point they noticed us and one of them said “Put that out, man! There’s kids here!” 😉

The Academy

Dean Middletown, NJ, US

January 96. The Pumpkins were opening for themselves. We waited, tight, smoking cigarettes indoors when you still could. I sang Rainbow Connection, people looked at me. I finished to applause, I had approval then, piano intro. I opened for the Pumpkins

An Album Forever Linked to My Cousin

Adam Medford, OR, US

My cousin was an incredibly gifted bass player, but proceeded to hunt for guitar tabs on the internet and learn every song on the album. He often joked “Billy taught me to play guitar.” We tragically lost him years ago, and I can’t hear this album without joyfully thinking about my cousin.

Album Artwork Captivating My Imagination

Grant Portland, Oregon, US

I was 7 years old when this album was released, and I can remember being at my cousin’s house in her room listening to music and seeing the cover of this CD or cassette (I don’t remember which) and it instantly capturing my attention and imagination with it’s fantastical whimsy, and once I discovered the music it stuck with me. This album artwork always brings me back to the 90’s, and the feeling of being a kid and discovering new music/movies/books from cover art that spoke to me. Finally got to see SP in Portland in 2018, one of the best shows of my life! Thanks for all the memories.

Mall Trip

Robert Jonesboro, IL , US

On Tuesday October 24th, 1995, I was a 15-year-old excitedly making my way to Columbia Mall in Columbia, MO to pick up my FAVORITE band (as of the previous summer of ’94) on double cassette 🤣 When I listened to those two tapes, my mild interest in SP exploded into a love affair that has lasted for 26 years! MCIS was truly the soundtrack to my life! I was born in 1979 and it became my favorite song! SP remains the music that shapes my world! Happy 25th, MCIS!  #SPForever

An introduction in the dark

Diana Ottawa, Ontario , CA

My cousin introduced me to MCIS when I was 12 years old, shortly after its release. She was staying at my house and my mom wouldn’t let us stay up and listen to it so we turned the lights off in my bedroom and listened to it in the dark. It was the perfect way to fully experience the album for the first time. 

Summer of SP

Sam Washington, DC, US

I spent July 1996 with my grandparents, and unlike my parents, they had cable. Which meant I could watch MTV. I would let it play for hours just to catch the incredible “Tonight, Tonight” video. Then I would make a small notch on a notepad as I tallied how many times I had seen the video. I forget the final number, but obviously the memory lives on. As I spent August at the beach, I wore the tape out, listening and relistening to each song, and for some reason, painstakingly copying the lyrics. I’ve never looked back in my SP love.

Hurts so good

Erica Rodriguez Buffalo, NY, US

This album means October to me. I was fresh into my freshman year of highschool. Nothing has ever sounded like this before. I was in awe. For 25 years, without even thinking about it.. come October when the weather changes, this album comes out. It brings back a special time in my life, it brings back memories and even scents. To Forgive is one of my favorites. It hurts so good. 🖤🖤🖤

They only come out…..a week early!

Ruben Albuquerque, US

We absolutely loved the Pumpkins! Anticipating the release  of MCIS, we would cruse alternative rock radio panting for a refreshing taste of ANYTHING Pumpkins….

A week before the album was scheduled to come out, I was listening to the radio at 7am when I suddenly heard “CALLER NUMBER 7 wins the new record from the Smashing Pumpkins !!!!”

I called and they answered:


I picked up the CD set, and we had a listing party, we rocked, we laughed, we cried……!

Such a masterpiece! Love y’all!