I was introduced to The Smashing Pumpkins back in 1994 during the "Siamese Dream" era. I was around 15 and in middle school at the time. I did not have a very strong sense of what type of music I really liked at the time. Of course being so young I hadn't had enough time or experience to really "find myself" (whatever that means.)

I still remember the moment when I first heard SP. My (former) boyfriend had a portable CD player with those little crappy speakers attached. He put on "Siamese Dream" and I immediately loved what I heard. But the speakers were so small it didn't really do the album justice. Soon, a song that had a quiet beginning came on, and after a couple of minutes my boyfriend told me to put my ears up next to the speakers and wait. Obviously I knew it was going to get loud.. but, still, the anticipation was exciting. The song I was listening to was none other than "Soma." The loud guitars suddenly blared in my ears and, from that point on, I was a Smashing Pumpkins addict.

The music of The Smashing Pumpkins has been with me through the high points and low points of my life. I am a very creative person, so I demand my music to have good quality sound and lyrics. SP is the one band that I can identify to the most. It's not even that I share all of the same feelings as Billy, because I don't. My story is very different. But I understand and can get lost in the beautiful, emotional world his music has created. My personality type is "melancholy" so that absolutely fits with the deeply emotional, thoughtful, introverted world Billy's songwriting has become.

Not all of the Pumpkins' music is dark or sad, and it's the same in my life. I'm a very joyful, faithful, optomistic person most of the time. So, I appreciate that all emotions and attitudes are reflected in SP's music.

I've seen the Pumpkins here in Atlanta in 1996, 1998, 2000, and I attended both 11/15 and 11/16 concerts in 2007. I met Billy and James at an autographing session in 2000. I am so glad that I had at least one moment to tell Billy face-to-face what his music means to me. I doubt he'll remember me, but it was important to me to have that moment. He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.. so that made for a moment to remember for sure! I also briefly met Melissa (former bassist) and Jimmy before the 2000 concert when the band was exiting the tour bus. I had already had my moment with Billy and James earlier in the year, so my target was Jimmy, who I have respected for a long time for his drumming talents. I love drums, and wish I had talent to be a drummer myself, but I don't, so watching Jimmy play and listening to his drumming on the albums is good enough for me! Eventhough security guards were yelling at me, I ducked under the caution tape and shook his hand before he went inside the concert venue. He gave me a big smile before shaking my hand, which made me so thrilled because I felt like a dork for rushing up to him like that. He seemed genuninely glad that I was there though... Melissa also gave me a hug.

I included all of that in this writing just to say how wonderful the band is with the fans, and that is why I still am a fan.